The Friendship
by Tic-Tac2
Summary: Takes place right after book 13, The Change... R/T fluff! (what can I say, i'm obsessed) - Please R/R! My story's not done yet! I have a ways to go... Please, please, please review! I would appreciate it soooo much! :)
1. The Friendship

Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs!  K.A. Applegate does - I am just a little old fanfic writer.  Pity me. Enough of my ramblings... wait! Why are you still reading this? Don't you want to read my story? Huh?

Enjoy - :)                    

The Friendship

By Tic-Tac

My name is Tobias.

Tobias. Just Tobias.

I'm a freak of nature. No jokes.

I am a red-tailed hawk. Or at least a human with the body of a hawk. I eat like a hawk; sleep like a hawk, and of course, fly like one. Even though I've been a bird for several months now, I'm still thrilled to soar above the world, effortlessly floating higher and higher on the thermals until like the people down below are just tiny dots in the distance.  Little Jacks in the world of giants.

First thought: um... why are you a hawk? Well, I'll explain later.

All in all, sounds like a nice life, huh?

Guess again. I don't just live a peaceful life of hunting and flying. As strange as it sounds, my friends and I are trying to save the world. You heard me right - a handful of teenagers, and an alien, standing between freedom and the total enslavement of their species.  Wow.  Depressing.

 We are the Animorphs: Jake, Cassie, Marco, Ax, Rachel and of course, me, Tobias the Bird-Boy.  

We are being attacked by Yeerks.  The Yeerks are a parasitic species. They steal bodies and make them into what we call Controllers - absolute slaves. They enter a host body through the ear canal and wrap themselves around the brain, seeping into the crevices, opening and reading the host's thoughts like a book. In their natural state, they aren't really much more than giant gray slugs.

But, the Yeerks were not content to live a life of darkness. They formed an alliance with the incredibly gross Taxxons and enslaved the Gedd and Hork-Bajir races.  Then they found humans.

The Yeerks saw earth as an opportunity. Millions of bodies, all unaware.

I mean, who in their right mind believes in aliens?

That's where we come in. It all started when Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel and I took a different way home from the mall. It was in an old, abandoned construction sight that we saw the spaceship land and met a part-deer, part-scorpion, part-humanoid creature called an Andalite. The dying Andalite Price Elfangor warned us about the Yeerks and gave us the weapon - the power to morph. The ability to become any animal you could touch and acquire.

      There was only one drawback, see. You can't stay in morph for more than two hours. After that, you become a nothlit, a person, or Andalite, trapped forever in morph. I broke rule number one. I am now a human, trapped forever in the body of a red-tailed hawk.

Chapter 1

I was glad. I really was. I was happy that Rachel and I were safe and the Hork-Bajirs' Jara Hamee and Ket Halpak found their "Garden of Eden", but I felt betrayed.  I wanted to become human, but the Ellimist...

I tried to shut out all the memories. Watching TV, eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, sitting, sleeping in a bed - a real bed. But then, I thought again, I wasn't exactly happy as a human.  My mom ran off when I was born and my dad supposedly died before that.  After their disappearances, I lived with relatives.  However, I was shuffled between aunts and uncles faster than you can say, "I didn't do it!" Nobody cared. Nobody. I had nothing to live for - until I met the Andalite. He had given me something to fight for. When I saw him dying, I felt a sadness I had never experienced before.  It cut deep into my heart, and I felt so bad for his family and friends, not knowing what was happening to their loved one.  I knew then that I needed to fight.  For Elfangor.

When I was trapped as a hawk during our first trip to the Yeerk Pool, I felt torn. Somehow I was free and trapped at the same time.

Then, the Ellimist.  I should have listened to Ax. The Ellimist doesn't care about what's fair and what isn't, I thought bitterly. He knew what I wanted; he knew I wanted to be human again. Instead, he gave me back my morphing powers.

I flew to my tree. I flapped my wings softly and landed on the branch, sinking my talons into the wood. I looked out over my territory and started preening my feathers. I stopped. Needed to stop thinking. I'd be better in the morning.

I closed my eyes...and when I opened them, I was not in my tree.

I was in a room. In a house...

Chapter 2

Today was Monday, the day when Rachel would receive the Packard Foundation Outstanding Student award. I felt like I owed it to her to come and give my congratulations.  Rachel helped me with the Hork-Bajir.  She risked her life for me too many times for me to count. She's always been there for me, and I care about her.

I flew towards the edge of the woods. I landed quietly on a branch and searched the ground for foxes or raccoons.  Nasty creatures. They wouldn't mess with me as human, but as a hawk... I played those words over in my mind. As a human...

I landed softly on the ground, my wings blowing leaves astray.

Here goes nothing, I said to no one. I concentrated on the real me, the human me, and to my surprise, felt the changes begin. The first thing I noticed were my wings, the feathers along my wingtip spreading and becoming fingers. My eyesight and hearing dimmed as my eyes became human and my ears grew out of the sides of my head, forming earlobes and growing larger.

Ahhhhh!! I yelled as dirty-blond hair sprouted out of my head like out-of-control weeds. My bones became heavy and solid as my need for flight diminished.

When I was done, I cautiously took a step forward on my strong human legs and finally started walking around. It was amazing! I never thought I'd be able to walk normally again. I started towards the school, my heart beating rapidly.

I was scared and nervous, sneaking in the back of the auditorium. To my great surprise, I actually remembered where everything was. I saw a teacher frown at me like she could remember me from somewhere but couldn't recall where. I guess I must have looked really suspicious, squinting like I was nearsighted and hanging back in the shadows.

Finally, as the recipients filed into the auditorium, I stepped out of the darkness, nervous, excited, afraid, and happy all at once.

Rachel was last in line. She was beautiful, as always, and she had the usual Rachel swagger. I worked my face into a smile. It was hard work, because birds of prey don't exactly have facial expressions, and I guess you could say I was out of practice.

I saw Cassie give Rachel a wink as she walked by. Rachel rolled her eyes, self-mockingly, and Cassie laughed.

When she passed where Marco was sitting, Marco made a phony bow. You know, like he was bowing before some idol. Rachel laughed and shook her head.

And then she was there in front of me. I saw her eyes sweep over me, indifferent, and then look past me towards the door.

She stopped walking.

She turned to me. Her eyes were wide. 

"Hi, Rachel," I said with a human voice.

I saw tears well up in her eyes.  She quickly blinked them out. Rachel is not a very touchy-feely emotional person. I just stood there, wondering what to do.  I could almost feel the audience's eyes on my back.

"Tobias!" She cried. She flung her arms around me and hugged me tight. I stood there, surprised, as a blush rose up from my neck to my cheeks.

"I thought you'd never be human again," Rachel whispered to me, smiling and grinning from ear to ear. "You know, the Ellimist..."

"I...I thought I should come to congratulate you," I said. Talking to Rachel was different when I was in human morph; I wasn't so sure of what I should say to her.  My mind searched for something to say.  It found nothing.

"I'm glad you came," Rachel said, placing her hand on my cheek. She smiled and glanced at me again.  My heart gave a strange flutter.

"I'll see you after the awards," Rachel beamed. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it tenderly, "Thank you," Then, she walked off toward her spot at the awards table. She kept looking over her shoulder at me, like she still couldn't believe what she was seeing - me.

I quickly slipped to the side of the auditorium.

With weak human eyes I could see Rachel smiling mouthing "Tobias" repeatedly as she closed her eyes at the awards table.

I could see Rachel's Mom and Dad straining in their seats to see what had caused the delay.

I could see Marco, Jake, and Cassie looking as confused as the rest of the crowd. I saw Cassie then stare at Rachel for a moment and then whisper something in Jake's ear. Marco smirked and pointed over to the area where I was hiding and shrugged. I made myself even smaller somehow. I felt shy and out of place.  There were too many walls, and there was a roof.  I couldn't even see the sky.

Chapter 3

      I had to demorph in the bathroom before the ceremony ended, carefully avoiding any of the other Animorphs.  I really didn't pity or regret or explanation. I just perched on the toilet cover, hoping that I could find a way out of this mess.

      I saw a way out.  He was black, small, and had six legs. 

I saw my target. He was on the wall to my right. Carefully I moved closer towards the fly.  I could see his hairy legs and his long, spiny proboscis dripping with saliva.  He was disgusting, but I was happy to see him.

Then --

FWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH!!

      Somebody flushed a toilet. The fly flew into the air, startled by the noise. I reacted instantly. I reached out with my beak and caught the fly, trapping it inside my mouth. I concentrated and felt the fly become a part of me.

      Just before starting the morph I thought, Wow Tobias, this is not exactly your smartest move. I mean, I knew it was stupid, morphing a new animal without even practicing in a safe, secure place. That was Rachel's job. She's the one who's supposed to be reckless and brave. But then again, I felt like I needed to do this. Who knows how I would act around the others as a human. I concentrated on morphing to fly.   

      If I thought morphing to human was weird and illogical, then I was seriously wrong. Fly was way, way worse.

      I started falling down faster, and faster until the toilet seat cover was a whole new world filled with white, and well, more white.

      My legs shrunk and became the tiny sticks that were my fly legs.

My feathers hardened and melted to become blackish skin all along my fly body.

I felt my bones disappear and then be replaced by an exoskeleton.

   I was a fly. If you think they are gross by looking at one, try being one.  I mean, I was a flying horror.  You would scream if I came near you.  Believe me.  I almost screamed when I saw myself in the mirror before my eyes split and shrank into compound eyes.

     All of a sudden, the fly instincts surged through me like an electrical wire.

 Fly, poop, fly, fly, fly, light! The fly brain screamed as I fought to regain control. I must have spent five minutes zooming around the bathroom stall like an out-of-control rocket until finally, I took over.

The fly was cool - if you got over the fact that your own body wanted to make you pass out.

I had compound eyes that couldn't see too well. It was like watching a hundred blurry, badly colored TV screens where someone has messed with all the color knobs. Fortunately, I still could make out shapes and the difference between lightness and darkness.

I flew, toppling and turning with any stray breath of wind, but I could fly! I couldn't believe what I could do. I could fly sideways, upside-down, up, down and straight. I could land anywhere. Anywhere! It didn't matter!

ZOOM! Up and over the bathroom stall door!

ZOOM! Under the bathroom door into the hallway!

I was a tiny missile! A speeding racecar! I couldn't be stopped! Ha HA! 

When I finally got to the auditorium, I found Rachel. She was sitting and tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for the ceremony to end so she could be excused. I saw her roll her eyes and I heard the Blah Blah Blah of a voice talking into a microphone. I zipped over the heads of the crowd unnoticed and landed on Rachel's shoulder.  I hid beneath her dress collar so I wouldn't be seen.

 When the voices stopped, I felt her get up out of her seat and rush towards where she saw me last and stop.  She quickly put on a fake cheery smile.  Jake, Cassie, and Marco were already there. Jake looked like Jake - in control, steady, with a slightly confused expression on his face. Cassie was standing in her jeans and t-shirt, also confused, but with my compound eyes, I saw something that might have been a shy smile. Marco, of course, was smirking.

As Rachel walked up to them, Marco held up a hand like a policeman and grinned.  Rachel took a deep breath, like she was expecting sheer torture.

"Hello Ms. Sunshine! Why were you so cheerful at the awards desk?  I thought that you didn't want to be here today!  Even before kicking butt you are never this happy... I mean, don't mind my complaining, but I couldn't stand another moment in this... this cage!" He winced, pretending to be in pain, "And after school hours, too!"  He clutched his stomach and pretended to vomit, puke, throw up, barf, toss his cookies.  Whatever.  You can imagine the picture.  Add in your own word.

Rachel rolled her eyes and punched Marco teasingly on the shoulder, "I was talking to someone."

"Who?" Cassie. She was obviously curious.  Marco leaned in closer to hear.

"Well -," Rachel started.

"Ohhhh! It must be L.O.V.E!" Marco interrupted, "Xena, captured in the moment by extreme emotions! Amazing! I didn't even know you had emotions!  Does that mean you feel fear? Ahh! Ahh!  The world is falling apart! ... So who's the lucky guy?" He grinned and was sent a look by Rachel that plainly stated, "If you don't shut up you're dead".

Jake raised an eyebrow at Marco, and turned to Rachel.

"Well?" He asked.

Rachel blushed slightly. I could almost feel the heat from her cheeks.

"I was talking to Tobias," she said.  She glanced at Marco.  Frowned.

If I thought everyone's attention before was tuned into her, I was wrong. Jake stared. Cassie stood there with a grin on her face. Marco's mouth dropped open.  He closed it again.  Then opened it to speak.

" Number one; how'd he get inside?" Marco asked, "What morph does he have small enough to get inside with?" He frowned, thinking, "I think a hawk would probably be noticed,"

Rachel smiled and sighed, "He was human. I was talking to Tobias as a human."

"So much for number two," Marco muttered.  Rachel ignored him.  She didn't even seem to notice he spoke.

I saw Jake and Cassie look at each other and smile. Marco stopped mumbling and looked around.

"Where is he? Maybe you imagined it.  I'm telling you Rachel, it wouldn't surprise me if one day you went to the doctor's office and they --."

 "No Marco, he was here." Rachel said confidently. When she says it like that, no one can argue with her.  Believe me, you just can't.  You can try, but you won't get far.  She turned around and walked towards the door. When she opened it, I flew out of sight and demorphed behind a trash dumpster.

That gave me time to think. Why, I thought, would Rachel, the most beautiful girl in the whole school care about me? Tobias, the social outcast, the misfit, the bird? I didn't know. Suddenly, I felt confused and uncomfortable.

I finished demorphing back to my hawk body and took to the sky. I didn't want this.  I didn't want to have to worry about my human life.  I have enough to think about; how I should protect my territory, what to eat, how I should save the world... I couldn't calm down.  I felt stressed. I mean, there are some great things about being a bird, like flying, and that usually soothes me. Not today.

I flew towards Cassie's barn. I don't know, maybe I needed to talk to someone. Anyone.  Except Rachel - that would make it worse.  Maybe. 

Cassie's barn was about ten minutes from the school - if you are walking. It took me five minutes to fly there.

Nobody was there. Since my friends were walking, they would be there in about five minutes. A meeting was scheduled for today, so our whole team - including Ax - would arrive.

I killed my speed and dropped down onto the rafters in the barn, closing my talons around my usual perch. Then I waited. I closed one eye and ruffled my feathers.

I heard a noise. I jerked my head around and there was Ax, in human morph.

Hey Ax-Man! I called down to him. I saw him look at me, surprised.

"Hello Tobias. You are early. Earl. Eee." I saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a squashed, sticky cinnamon bun.  He licked his fingers happily, "I went to the mall, He explained, "A kind female asked if I wanted a cinnamon bun, so I thanked her and took it. I believe these buns. Bunzuhh. Are very popular. As soon as I left, some males in blue uniforms followed me. Followedduh. 'D' makes an interesting letter sound." He took a bite and chewed slowly.

I laughed, Ax, you were being chased by the police for stealing a cinnamon bun? As Marco would say, are you insane? 

Ax looked puzzled, so I decided to just drop it. But Ax kept talking, mainly to himself.

"Are all humans wearing blue classified as police? Lease?" He mumbled thoughtfully.     

No Ax, only the ones carrying guns and pepper spray, I shouldn't have said anything.  Ax looked at me.

"That was humor, was it not?" He asked.  I was still deciding if Ax had meant for that to be a rhetorical question when I heard, rather than saw, my friend's arrival.

Two seconds, I said to myself.  One, two... 

Just then, Marco, Jake, Cassie, and Rachel walked into the barn, joking and laughing. Rachel stopped talking. She looked up at me. I stared back with the intense gaze of a bird of prey. I tried to sound, you know, casual.

Hi guys! What's up? I said breezily. I began preening my feathers. It needs to be done, but I also I have a habit of doing it when something's bothering me. I stopped, realizing my friends knew this. If I had been human, I probably would have looked somewhere along the lines of nervous, guilty, and embarrassed. Of course, I'm not human.

"Oh, nothing much. Except that Xena here says she saw you at the awards ceremony." Marco laughed, "Now I know she's crazy."  He patted her arm sadly.  Rachel glared at him and pushed him away.

She's right, I said, I was there.

Everybody turned to me. No one spoke. I don't even think they breathed.

"How did this happen, Tobias?" Cassie asked quietly.

 I told them about the Ellimist. How he sent me back in time to acquire myself. How I told the former Tobias to walk home through the construction site with them.  How I almost didn't want to give myself that responsibility. I felt myself choking with emotions.  I also felt sick.

When I was done, I flew down onto the haystack next to where Rachel was sitting. She smiled sadly and stroked my chest with her finger.

I'll show you. I said to my friends, I'll show you, but it's just a morph. I looked at Rachel when I said this. She nodded, but I could see she was mumbling under her breath, upset.  The others understood.  Two hours max.

Rachel, are you okay? I asked her privately. She looked at the ground and didn't respond.  I hopped onto the floor of the barn.

I concentrated on the human that was once me. I felt and heard the changes begin. Suddenly, still fully red-tailed hawk, I shot upwards from the ground growing three, no, four times my height!

"Revenge of Birdzilla," I heard someone mumble. I guessed Marco.

Hey - I started, but then thought-speak was no longer available.

I felt a weird grinding in my beak as teeth appeared. Then, swoosh! My hard, curved beak was gone, replaced with soft human lips. I rocked back and forth on my talons unsteadily until they melted into callused feet.  My wings widened and grew.  Fingers grew from the end of my arms.

I finished morphing. I was in the middle of a barn; a nervous boy with untidy dirty-blond hair wearing tight morphing clothes.  I rubbed my tongue along my teeth.  It was a strange feeling.  I opened my mouth to speak.  Something I haven't done in a long time.  Or at least since the few words I said at the ceremony.

"Um...hi guys," I said, staring at their astonished expressions. Jake walked over and shook my hand, smiling broadly.

"Hey Tobias, great to see you," He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. Marco kept shaking his head. Finally he grinned.  He punched my arm teasingly.

"Geez, Tobias," He said, "Now we'll have to listen -!" He stopped and glanced warily at Rachel.  Then laughed, "It's great to have you back man,"  

"Thanks Marco," I looked at Cassie. She just gave me a small smile.

My heart beating loudly, I turned to face Rachel. She was sitting on the haystack a few feet away. When I looked at her, all my worries seemed to just melt away.  Then they resurfaced.  Hesitant, I sat down next to her. She just stared at me. Finally she spoke.

"Tobias ...I've missed you," She wrapped her arms around me and held me close. I hugged her back. I don't know how long we just sat there; all I know was that it was a wonderful feeling.  I felt so happy. When we broke apart, I could feel the stares of my friends on my back. I turned to face them. Ax looked bemused, Cassie was leaning against a cage with a goofy smile on her face, Jake had a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and Marco just stared.

"Well, that settles it," He said.

"I do not understand."  Ax said, shifting his weight from one leg to another.

Marco rolled his eyes and laughed. He didn't say anything, but he sent me a thumbs-up sign and winked. I blushed and Rachel sent Marco a murderous stare.

"Well," said Jake, clearing the awkward silence, "My fellow humans, and aliens, I believe we have found a safe, clean, great, wonderful, perfect - -,"

"Oh, don't milk the suspense, Jake," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. Jake didn't smile.

"We have found a way into the Yeerk Pool,"

I felt my insides turn to ice.  I shuddered.  The Yeerk Pool was where I lost my human form and passed the fatal two-hour limit.  The screams and cries down in that place will stay in my head forever.  Rachel turned to look at me.  I ignored her.  I couldn't bear to see her pity.  Not now.

"Oh, no," Cassie looked like she was about to cry.  Jake took her hand in his.

"Ax and I have been following Chapman, our favorite Controller, for the last three days," He looked at us, acting the role of a fearless leader, "We saw him go into the Wendy's down by the seven-eleven.  He talked to the cashier and went through the door marked 'Employees Only.' He never came out." He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Jake, have I mentioned that our lives are totally, absolutely, wholly, entirely, in every respect INSANE?!" Marco said, "I mean, here we are, a bunch of semi-normal kids trying to save the world using powers that turn us into animals.  Oh, and did I mention we are currently being helped by a bird that talks and an alien that looks like a ninja horse from hell?  Does that seem just a bit odd to you?  I mean, what happened to the good old days when the most exciting thing that happened was turning the TV on and hangin' with a bag of chips?"

"I am incredibly more advanced than an earth horse," Ax said haughtily.

"Oh, so that's how you spent your days Marco... explains a lot, doesn't it?" Rachel said, tossing her head and laughing.  Her golden hair spilled around her shoulders.  Marco glared at her.

"Well, at least certain people don't run around looking for a fight!" He spat.

"Shut up Marco!" Rachel fumed.

"What are you going to do about it?  Get Bird-Bo -," Jake held up a hand.  Marco stopped, still glaring at Rachel.

"Okay you two, break it up.  I know we all hate going down there again, but we have to do this.  I wish the Andalite could've laid this responsibility on someone else, but he didn't." Jake looked around at us; "Report here right after school tomorrow.  See you guys later."

He left and trudged down the road, staring at the ground.  Marco snuck another look at Rachel and me, and walked towards his house.  Ax sent me a smile and walked into the woods, demorphing as he went.  Cassie checked that all of the animals were content, and turned to me.

"I'm glad we have you back Tobias.  You're a very brave person." She walked over to me and gave me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, "See ya Rach," Cassie said, giving her a hug.  She walked inside her house.

Rachel and I were alone.  She had not moved from her spot - just sat right beside me.  She moved her hand to rest on top of mine and looked me in the eyes.

"Tobias, are you okay?" She asked me softly.  Her eyes burned through me.

"Yeah," I said, getting up off the hay bale.  I turned away and began to demorph.  As I returned to red-tailed hawk, I saw a pained look on Rachel's beautiful face.  I flew up onto her shoulder.  She stroked my crest softly.

"Come and see me tonight.  My sisters and mom will be at Sara's gymnastics recital." It wasn't a suggestion; it was a command - almost.

Sure Rachel... I'll be there. I flew off my perch and flapped my way up to the treetops.

Chapter 4

      That night I flew to Rachel's house.  In a way, I felt nervous going to see her; I knew she wanted to talk about the Ellimist.  And, well, maybe...

      No.  We weren't a "couple".  No matter how everyone else saw it.  She's a girl and I'm, well, a bird.  This is way past racial differences.  Way past Romeo and Juliet.  It's not like our families can't get along.  I don't even have a family.

      As much as I try to convince myself that Rachel and I are just friends, my feelings for her don't leave.  I don't know how much the other Animorphs know about us, but I don't think they're blind or deaf.  Sometimes I'm a little obvious I care for her.  During those times, I would've given my right leg to take it back.  Not really 'take it back', but you know, make sure that Jake and the others didn't hear it.  

      I waited until the first star appeared when I set out.  It was dark, but not enough to limit my sight too much, and the sun was just beginning to set.  Its glow gave an orange shine to my normally red feathers.  I had already eaten my dinner, so the hawk in me was happy and content.  The human was a mixture of emotions.

      I dropped quietly onto Rachel's windowsill.  I peered into her room.  She was on her bed, a book propped up with a collection of pillows.  I heard her chuckle softly and turn the page, but I couldn't see the title of the book.  I tapped on the window with my beak and rustled my wings.  Rachel shot off her bed and came to the window.  Without a sound, she opened it.

      "Finally!" She said, placing her hands on her hips, "I was just about to go out and find you!" She shook her finger at me and laughed.

      Nice to see you, too, I said, fluttering inside.  Rachel sat down on her bed and patted it.

      I perched next to her.  She lowered herself to my level and stared at me intently.  I looked back.  Without meaning to, I noticed her blue eyes had flecks of gold mixed with green and they shone with a wild light.  I was fascinated.  No, mesmerized.  I blinked.  Finally, I turned away.  I looked back, and the same pained expression I saw in Cassie's barn darkened her face.

"Look.  I know this deal with the Ellimist has been frustrating and rough.  I can't possibly imagine what you've been through, and I know that.  You know," Rachel paused and looked at me, more serious still, "When you left us after that one battle and Cassie thought you were dead, I didn't know what to do.  I kept looking for you outside my window, but you weren't there.  I was practically a zombie during school.  Whenever I looked at the teacher, I wouldn't see her, but I would see a red-tailed hawk.  Cassie and the others tried to help me, but I couldn't be helped.  I needed to see you.  To talk and joke with you." I could tell that this was hard for Rachel to say.  Like I said, she's not into the whole spill-your-guts thing.

I'm...I'm sorry.  I didn't know anyone cared, you know, about me, I winced, embarrassed at my words.  I'd sounded too sincere.  I would've given anything to take those words back.  Rachel just smiled.

"I care," She said straightforwardly, "Tobias, I care a lot about you," She smiled again.  She smiled a tender smile that is meant for me.  Only me.  

"Would you do something for me?  Could I see you?  The other you?"  She asked suddenly.

For a moment, I was taken aback.  At first, the thought of seeing Rachel - as a human - was wonderful, but then doubt replaced happiness.  Then embarrassment followed.

I tried to make an excuse, Uh... don't you think Jake would be mad? I said, at the same time trying to convince myself, I mean, he doesn't like it when we morph to get away from our problems...

Rachel rolled her eyes, "C'mon Tobias.  I know Jake will understand,"

I tried a different approach, You don't mind that I'll be wearing morphing clothes, right? Rachel jabbed her finger in my face and grinned.

"I solemnly swear that I, Rachel, will not laugh at your poor taste in clothing.  Besides, you're coming with me to the mall.  We need to get you some decent clothes!" She folded her arms across her chest and laughed good-naturedly.

I knew there was no escape.  I began to morph.  I closed my eyes.

A few minutes later, I opened my eyes and gasped, shocked.  I still couldn't believe the difference between hawk and human sight.  I moved my hands and my fingers.  I tried to smile for her, but I think I probably looked like I just tasted something awful.  She shook her head in amusement.

"There, that's better!" Rachel said, leaning closer to me.

I felt my heart skip a beat.  Her face was so close to mine that I could again see deep inside her eyes.  I was afraid to move, to do anything.  Rachel whispered softly.

   "Tobias, I've known a lot of great people.  Cassie's my best friend, Jake's an extremely cool cousin... heck!" She grinned, "Even Marco is a good guy!  Sometimes." Rachel laughed heartily and beamed at me, "Then, you.  You, of all the Animorphs, has suffered and lost more than all of us combined.  You lost your humanity.  You suffered through the desire to kill and eat live meat.  You possibly lost your mother and father to the Yeerks," She took a breath and went on, "You were bullied and picked on beyond belief.  Nobody ever cared or loved you," She slammed her fist into her palm angrily.

"I'm okay now," I said, trying to calm her down without getting her angrier.

"No.  You're not okay.  You live your life as a hawk one day.  You save the world the next.  That is not okay.  When is that okay?" Rachel said firmly.  She sighed.

"What am I supposed to do, Tobias?  I'm a girl.  You're a bird.  Even so, I care about you Tobias.  There are so many things I want to do with you.  See a movie, hold hands..." She trailed off.

I looked away, even though she couldn't read my expression.  I started to get up.  Rachel put her hand on my arm and gently pushed me down again.

"One change Tobias.  Right now you're just a mix between two creatures, lonely and scared.  No matter how long you're a red-tailed hawk, you can never be a true hawk.  But you can be a true human." Rachel took her hand off my arm.

"Yeah," I said, "And never fly again.  Do you know what that would really mean, Rachel?  I would be changed into a human again, yes, but I would have no home.  Would you really want me to go back to moving between relatives because I was no good?  Stupid?  I couldn't even get away.  I couldn't get of the ground and fly off.  I would be helpless.  A boy stuck with a family who didn't care about him.  If the Yeerks ever captured me, they would know about everything.  Then, they would make me a slave and come after Ax and Jake and Cassie and Marco, and you... how could I live with myself?"  Rachel didn't say a word.  I knew she was trying to say something to convince me, but she couldn't find anything.  Not yet.  I knew this was not over.

Rachel tried to smile.  For me.  I hope that deep down, the warrior within Rachel would understand why I can't possibly be a human.  But, there's a girl in Rachel too.

Rachel looked at me, "There was one more thing I'd like to do with you,"

She leaned forward and kissed me.  I could try and lie.  I could say that Rachel pecked me on the cheek, or she gave me a quick kiss on the lips.  Both would be wrong.  

Rachel wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.  She held me close like she was afraid that if she let go, I would disappear.  I was so surprised that I almost jerked back.  Right then, when she kissed me, I forgot everything.  I forgot I was a red-tailed hawk, forgot that the Animorphs, my friends and I, were fighting evil parasitic aliens, forgot that I had no family.  Right then, Rachel and I were just a normal teenage couple.

No!  I couldn't get this close to Rachel!  I am a bird.  A hawk.  Not a human.

I tried to fight myself.  I tried to let go of my emotions.  It was impossible.

Finally, Rachel let go and breathed.  My heart stopped beating.  I was too surprised to even think.  My brain was a pile of mush.  

Rachel closed her eyes and sat up straight.  I stared at her and she looked as astounded as I did.  When she looked at me, she blushed, but held her ground.  I blushed too.  It was a strange feeling.  One minute my face was room temperature, and the next I was burning up.

"Sorry...sorry," She said, only slightly embarrassed.  She looked at the digital clock on her desk, "Um... I guess you have to morph back now..." I jolted out of my amazed stupor.  I shivered.

"Yeah." Finally, I breathed.

As I melted into my hawk shape, Rachel snapped to her senses.  She bit her lip and looked out into the night sky.  I could hear a drumming on the roof - rain.  How am I going to fly home in this? I asked myself, sneaking a glance outside.  I guess she saw me hesitate.

"Rough night, huh?" She said, "Wonder if Ax found a place to stay," I laughed suddenly at a thought of the Andalite alone in the mall with only the company of cinnamon buns and maybe a few customers.

Yeah, well, I think that Ax, being a highly advanced alien, could figure out how to outsmart some earth rain, I said.  Rachel chuckled.

" Listen Tobias, that's really not the best weather out there - it might be hard to fly.  Why don't you stay here tonight?" She tapped her fingers absentmindedly on her book and looked at me.

Um... Rachel?  Where would I sleep? I asked.  I was glad I wasn't in human morph.  I would've been stuttering and blushing.  Rachel peered around her room and sighed.

"Well," She said, frowning like she was planning a excursion to the mall, "If I know my family, they'll come into my room early tomorrow morning," She grinned, "My sisters can get into my room somehow, lock or no lock.  Don't ask me how, especially in the morning when I'm trying to get my sleep!" She rolled her eyes and sighed deeply, "Anyways, if they see a big ole hawk in my room, they'll freak.  And if they see a boy in my room, they'll freak even more, and they will get to laugh at me during my punishment.  Except that I'll be behind bars."

I stared at her, cocking my head, a habit I learned from being a red-tail.  It seemed to me that she was embarrassed or awkward.  Without a word, she got up.

Do you have a crazy idea? I asked Rachel, looking at the lightning outside her window.  The thunder boomed out in the distance, causing my sensitive eardrums to throb with pain.

"Yep," Rachel said, "How uncomfortable is it for you to lay down?"

Um, I've never really tried.  But if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say I could handle it - especially under the circumstances.  What are you thinking?  Am I going to be a pillow or something? I rustled my wings.  Rachel laughed and shook her head.

"Close but not quite," She bent forward and gently caressed my chest.  I resisted the hawk's urge to fly.

Okay, what's your plan? I asked quietly.

Chapter 5

      I guess it wasn't so bad.  I was wrapped in blankets- the hawk in me screaming the whole time- and set down on Rachel's bed.  You see, the plan was that I would look like something normal.  Like a stuffed animal, or a blanket rolled up into a "ball".  Just in case.

After Rachel was done turning me into a red-tailed mummy, she put me on the bed.  It was extremely rough on my feathers, but I kept my mouth shut.  I was lucky that I could even think about sleeping next to her.  Let alone do it.  If I had been Marco, Rachel would have sent me out in that thunderstorm without a backward glance or a wave.

"You okay?" Rachel dropped onto the bed and turned onto her side, propping her head up with her hand.  She yawned and her eyes fluttered.

I'm fine.  You're not.  You need to sleep.  So do I. You have school in the morning, and I have some serious hunting to do,  I relaxed and closed my eyes.

A smile spread across Rachel's face, "You're starting to sound like Jake," She yawned again.  Then, she threw the covers over us, pulled me closer to her, and whispered, "You're a wonderful friend, Tobias.  Don't forget that no matter what, I'm right here," She kissed my head and hugged me gently.

Goodnight Rachel, I said happily.

"Goodnight Tobias," Rachel breathed deeply, and with one arm around me, the living mummy, she drifted off into sleep.  Finally, when the hawk in me decided there were no predators around to eat me, I too slipped into sleep.  The last sound I heard was the beating of Rachel's steady heart next to my machine-gun heart.  I closed my eyes.

The next morning, I woke up and flapped my wings, sending blankets onto the floor.  I was very hungry.  I need to sink my talons into warm, living flesh and drag it off to eat alone in privacy.  I need to...

Tobias!  Get a grip!

Then, I stopped flailing my wings.  Rachel was still asleep, her breathing deep and relaxed.  I looked at the digital clock on Rachel's desk.  7 o'clock.  Not wanting to wake Rachel, I spread my wings to fly out the window and - ah.  The window's closed.  No big deal, Tobias.  I started to morph to human.  Then -

"Rachel!  Rachel, get up!  School in ten minutes!" I heard Rachel's mom yell, "Sara, Jordan, go wake up your sister!" I heard footsteps on the stairs.

I froze.  Great.  Just what I needed.  I couldn't get out of Rachel's room without morphing human, and if I woke up Rachel, I would have one angry Animorph and two curious sisters.  I jerked my head around.  Did I have time to morph?

I started to morph as fast as I could possibly go before my heart beat itself out of my chest.  Wings became arms and hands, talons became toes and legs...

Nooo! I cried, frustrated.  I had hands, but I hadn't grown an inch.  I was fully human at hawk's height, which is about, oh, 3 feet off the ground.  I had wanted only to morph my hands, get the window open, demorph, and leave.  But, I'm no Cassie.

BAM!  BAM!

"Rachel, are you awake?"

BAM! BAM!

"Jeez!  You sleep like a log,"

BAM!  BAM!

"Jordan, open the door..."

I ran to the window, slid it open, and looked around.  Rachel stirred in her sleep, yawned, and opened her eyes.  She stared at me and raised her eyebrows.  I jerked my head towards the door and whispered, "Uh, little help here?"

"One more time, Sara. Rachel, are you awake?" I heard the doorknob jiggle. Rachel's eyes opened in surprise.  She understood.  She ran to the door, leaned against it, and sighed loudly.

"What did you wake me up for?" Rachel asked innocently.

"You have ten minutes until Mom fries your butt for breakfast for being late for school!" Jordan replied snootily, "What are you doing in there, anyways?"

"Nothing!" Rachel said, winking at me, "Can't you mind your own business?"

I was brought back to my senses.  I began demorphing.

"It is to my business!" Jordan yelled through the door.  She slammed against it, nearly knocking Rachel off her feet in sheer surprise.  Rachel glared and looked at me, fully red-tailed hawk.  She pointed to the window and shouted, "Get out of here!"  I spread my wings and saw Rachel grinning at me.  I heard Jordan and Sara storm away from her room.

See ya later, Rachel, I flew out the window and rode a thermal high into the sky.  If I had a mouth I would've smiled.  Rachel cared for me.  I guess she always did.  Right from the beginning - we just didn't notice.  Maybe the others became aware of our growing friendship that wasn't friends and fellow Animorphs caring for each other, fearing for each other's safety, and admiring each other.  Maybe my friends saw through that.  Cassie.  I'm sure she saw that.  She would understand - she cares for Jake.

I flew around the town the whole day, occasionally flying over the school and watching my friend's antics.  Even though I never really enjoyed school -it was where I was usually beaten up- I still miss it being a hawk.  There are some things that you can't ever forget.  Like reading.  Sometimes, for fun, I'll read over people's shoulders while they are at the beach.  I've read a lot of books.  Not whole books, unfortunately, but pages and if I'm lucky, a chapter.

I drifted over the school again and looked at the clock in the classroom.  Time to go to Cassie's barn.  Coasting lazily from one thermal to another - also called thermal hopping - I arrived at our meeting place just as everyone was taking their usual positions.  Rachel sat on the hay bale, Marco kept trying to sit next to her- she kept shoving him off -, Cassie was giving a pill to an angry fox, Jake was pacing the room and muttering, and Ax was standing underneath the rafters where I perched each meeting.  When I flew in, everybody looked up.

"Oh," Marco said, "its just you, Bird-Boy.  I thought you were another alien from outer-space." He sighed.  I could see dark rings under his eyes from lack of sleep.  I guessed what that was from.  Yeerk Pool nightmares.  We've all had them.

Hey Marco, I said tolerantly.  I looked warily at the fox beneath my rafters.  He glared at me and licked his lips, showing off long, yellow teeth.  I shuddered involuntarily.  Cassie closed the fox's mouth and blew on his nose to make him swallow the pill.  Jake looked at me sternly.

"It's good you're here Tobias.  Ax went looking for you this morning at your tree.  He didn't find you.  He got Cassie and me up searching for you.  We couldn't find you all morning.  You've never been away from your tree before at night - except when we were helping the Hork-Bajir.  Where were you?"  Jake finished his sentence calmly, but I heard the worry in his voice.  I shifted to a more comfortable position.  I didn't want to tell them that I was at Rachel's house - all night.  I didn't like the way Marco was looking at me.  Rachel tapped her foot on the cement floor of the barn.  Jake turned his gaze to her.  She smiled simply, showing off gleaming white teeth.  

"Tobias was with me," She said breezily, "He came to visit me and it started raining.  So, uh, he stayed with me." She tried to laugh but it came out as a snort.  Marco raised his eyebrows at me and looked at Rachel accusingly.

"He stayed with you.  As in, all night?  He could've been caught!  Or worse, you could've been caught together!  Besides, it rained at ten o'clock last night.  What were you doing at ten o'clock at night?" Marco shook his head.  Rachel set a glare on Marco.

"I don't believe it's any of your business!" She said fiercely.  I looked at the rest of our group.  Cassie was beet red and Jake was frowning.

"Don't do that to us, Tobias.  We were very worried."  Jake shifted his frown to me.

Okay, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize that you would notice I would be gone.  I didn't expect to be that long... My heart thumped.  If I had been human, I would have been blushing bright red.

"Ah," Marco said.  He looked at Rachel suspiciously.  Again, I would have turned red with embarrassment.  Instead, I glared like only a hawk can glare - focusing my gaze on the intelligent fox below me.  I didn't say anything.  Rachel spoke for me.

"We didn't DO ANYTHING!" She exploded furiously, looking from Cassie to Jake and then to Marco, "Jeez!  You guys are acting like it's some big deal that Tobias came to see me!  Well, for your information, it's not!  So stop looking at us like we're...we're not normal, okay?!  I do NOT need this right now," Rachel let her breath out, shaking with frustration.  Cassie walked up to Rachel and hugged her.  She started whispering.  No one else heard her, but I did.

"You're okay Rachel.  I know it's tough for you, I know.  Believe me.  But you've got to go with your gut on this one, okay Rach?" Cassie hugged her again.  She looked up at me and whispered in Rachel's ear.  Even I couldn't hear what she was saying, acute as my hearing is.  As I perched there, I felt a need to comfort Rachel, to assure everybody that everything would be okay.  Of course, I didn't know that everything would turn out okay.  I couldn't know.  

Chapter 6 - Rachel

      My name is Rachel.

      That's all you need to know.

      I don't know how long I sat there, the blood in my head beginning a slow boil.  I was mad.  And when I get mad, I do something.  Marco!  Why did he have to continue the subject?  He calls me Xena, Warrior Princess.  I'll show him Xena - I'll show him!  The jerk!  I tried to calm down by taking a few deep breaths.  I tried to think of anything other than Tobias.

      Gymnastics!  I am way to tall to be good at the parallel bars, but I can do cartwheels and flips pretty well.  I love doing gymnastics - placing one foot in front of the other, leaping through the air, for a moment it's almost like fly - NO!

      Again, Tobias came into my mind.  I could hear his voice in my head - wait, he was talking.  I concentrated on his words.  Hung onto them.  It was Tobias who could pull me into reality.

      -Notice I would be gone.  I didn't expect to be that long... He ended quickly, as if he didn't realize what he said until now.  I heard the embarrassment in his thought-speak.

      "Ah," Marco glanced at me.  I began the boil again.  Do you think it's easy? Do you? I wanted to shout at him.  Nobody understood.  They didn't know how it is to care about someone who isn't even your species.  Tobias, I noticed, was avoiding my gaze and Marco's.  I couldn't take it anymore.

      "We didn't DO ANYTHING!" I yelled.  I glared at Marco. "Jeez!  You guys are acting like it's some big deal that Tobias came to see me!  Well, for your information, it's not!  So stop looking at us like we're...we're not normal, okay?!  I do NOT need this right now," I shuddered with sadness and frustration.  Cassie met my stare and smiled weakly.  She hurried over to me and hugged me.  Typical.  Cassie knew.  She knew what was happening between Tobias and me.  I shook my head.  I didn't want to believe it.  Not much, anyways.  Cassie just gazed at me with a look that said, "I understand," It was mixed with pity.  She held my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

      "You're okay Rachel.  I know it's tough for you, I know.  Believe me.  But you've got to go with your gut on this one. Okay Rach?"  She hugged me again and looked up at the rafters.  I didn't follow her gaze.  She leaned in closer and whispered softly in my ear.

      "Rachel, come talk to me tonight, okay?" Cassie smiled kindly, "Tell me everything.  I need to know how you feel so that I can make it easier.  Hey, what are friends for, huh?" I nodded at her and smiled.

      "Thanks," I croaked quietly.  I sat down at the hay bale near the door of Cassie's barn.  I looked up at Tobias.  Poor, sweet Tobias, our casualty in this war.  Everybody thinks that he actually became a hawk nothlit on purpose to escape his old life.  I wish it wasn't true, but I can't escape the facts.  Besides, he seems happier as a hawk.

      He turned his head and fixed his gaze on me.  I almost broke down in tears.  Or rage.  I couldn't tell.  Sometimes I scare myself - I think the others don't really trust me all the time.  Not even Cassie or Tobias.

      I remembered kissing Tobias.  I'd never kissed anyone before.  I was surprised, actually.  To tell the truth, I think I was more stunned than Tobias himself.  I smiled at the memory.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  Tobias has always been the one that could calm me down.  He's not like other guys at school.  Yes, I would kiss him again.

      "Rachel?  Are you in there?"  Someone tapped my shoulder.  It was Marco.  I grabbed his wrist and gave him a furious glare.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I said, fuming. He pretended to look hurt.  He couldn't do it for long.  He burst out laughing and pulled his wrist from my grasp.

"Oh, don't worry Xena, I won't," He put his arm around my shoulders and grinned.  I pushed him away and laughed.  Sometimes Marco is so immature it's funny.

"Aren't you going to kiss me, Rachel?  Women always pretend to hate men, and when we're least expecting it, they kiss us." I rolled my eyes.  He puckered his lips.

"You've been watching too much T.V., Marco.  Besides, I wouldn't kiss you," I tried to keep my face neutral.  They couldn't know that I kissed Tobias - I would just die.  Jake would never put us together on missions, Marco would make jokes every time he saw me, and Cassie - well, Cassie would be okay with that.  I was seeing her tonight anyways.  Then, I thought about Cassie and Jake.  I realized with a start that they had never kissed, and they've liked each other forever.  I've only known Tobias since the Animorphs started.  Well, that's not really true.  I used to see him in the halls, getting beaten up by bullies.  I guess I felt a little sorry for him back then, but I wasn't really involved.  It was Jake who stood up for Tobias, not me.

I jolted out of my daydream.  Again.  Marco was looking at me strangely.  I glared at him.  Jake was talking excitedly.

"Okay, well, I have some good news guys!" I heard Jake say, "Erek has been watching some controllers, and it seems that they aren't planning any attacks, anywhere, for about a week.  He says that they are expecting a ship carrying some Yeerks and a spare Kandrona to come next month, and they have to prepare for a landing.  I guess this means we don't plan any attacks for the next few days.  Have a little normalcy in our schedule?"  Jake grinned at Marco.  

"It's like vacation for the Animorphs," Marco said.  He formed his hands into a triangle and looked through, "Animorphs go Spring Break.  No, Spring Break of the Animorphs.  Wait.  That sounds like a horror flick.  Speaking of which, anybody seen any good movies lately?  Anybody going to any movies?" He winked at me.  I shook my head and rolled my eyes.  Marco is so annoying sometimes.  

I didn't want to see a movie.  Especially not with Marco.  I had other plans.  I was going flying.

Finally, it was my turn to grin.

I stood up and threw off my outer layer of clothing, revealing a skintight, black leotard I use for morphing and gymnastics.  I quickly found a bag - clean, without animal droppings - and stuffed my extra clothes inside.

I began to morph to bald eagle.  A bird of prey.  Large.  A killer.

I guess the others had the same idea.  Jake went over and helped Cassie with a crow suffering from a broken wing.  Awww... how sweet.  Boy meets girl.  Boy likes girl.  Boy helps girl with animal medications and cleaning up poop.  Manure, as Cassie says.  Whatever.  Poop is poop.

Ax, who hadn't said anything the whole meeting (he probably didn't get the whole "spring break" thing) walked out into the woods and took a left.  I think I had an idea of where he was going.  Mall.  Actually, if I hadn't of wanted to go flying, I would have gone to the mall too.  There were great sales on Tuesdays.

I said bye to Cassie and Jake and flew out the open door.  I caught a beautiful updraft and floated high up.  With my eyes adapted for seeing through water, I saw silver fish in a pond that, to me, were outlined in shining, flashing neon.  They seemed to be beckoning to me.  I blinked and spread my wings.

Where are you going? I turned my large eagle head and fixed my gaze on the red-tailed hawk that had slipped beside me.

Uh.  I don't know.  Want to come along? I flapped my wings and soared higher.  Tobias followed.

Sure, Tobias adjusted his tail feathers, Um... sorry about the meeting.  I guess you're pretty embarrassed, huh?  You know... He stopped.

It's fine, really.  I am Xena, Warrior Princess, right?  I laughed graciously.

Yeah.  That's good.  Because, you know, I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything, Tobias said truthfully.  I would have smiled - if I could.  I knew he was embarrassed at Marco's subtle comments.  Really embarrassed.  Even so, he was making sure that I was okay.

Do you want to go to the beach? Tobias asked, There are some killer thermals coming off the sand this time of day! He sounded really excited.  I guess, even being a red-tailed hawk, he still finds flying incredibly fun.  I couldn't blame him.  Besides, it was a beautiful day.  Fluffy white clouds shifting across the sky, the sun beating down on us, warming my feathers.  Even if it were overcast, I would have agreed to go with him.

On a day like this, I'd follow you anywhere, I replied.  Tobias laughed giddily.

Let's see if you can catch up with me!  You may be bigger, but I'm faster! Tobias sped off towards the beach.

Hey! You wish! I powered my humongous wings and flew after him.

It took us about ten minutes to fly to the beach.  When we got there, we were both tired out.  We perched and rested for a few minutes.  Then, Tobias found a secluded spot for me to demorph.

However long we fight this war, I will never get used to morphing.  It's just gross.  Fingers grow from the tips of wings, teeth form inside beaks; talons grow from the end of toes.  Organs disappear then reappear totally different.  I mean, one second you have a stomach designed for digesting small rodents, and then you have a stomach that digests everything: meat, vegetables, fruits.  Anything.  Yeah, it's sickening.  Sometimes I have nightmares about morphing.  Yes, even me.

I finished demorphing.  The last detail was my hair, which shot out of my head and spilled down my back.  I looked down at myself.  At my feet.

"I really wish we could morph shoes," I mumbled to myself.  I forgot I was in the company of a hawk.  They have excellent hearing.

What's the point?  You're at the beach.  Nobody wears shoes at the beach, Tobias said, looking at me.  I grinned.

"You're right.  I'm wrong.  At least I'm wearing something that resembles a bathing suit, right?  It could be worse." Tobias laughed and dug his talons into the rotted log that was his perch.  He turned to me and stopped.  For a while, we just looked at each other.  Me with my blue eyes and blond hair, and Tobias with his golden eyes and rusty brown feathers.  I was lost in his eyes.  Eyes that were always intense.  I could almost see past the hawk eyes and into the human eyes - hurt, tender, and hopeful.  I choked on words that threatened to spill out of my mouth.  I looked away.  Brushed the hair out of my eyes.  Turned back after a deep breath.

Tobias had morphed human.  Now I could see his eyes.  He smiled at me.  A smile that I hadn't seen since we got our morphing powers and attacked the Yeerk Pool. My heart melted.  I gathered myself together and motioned for him to follow me.

"C'mon, let's get going, you slowpoke!" I said impatiently.  I grinned to show Tobias I was joking.  We walked to the beach side by side.  When we got to the beach, I sat down on the warm sand and Tobias sat down next to me.  I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the breeze.  It felt good.  The warm air picked up my hair and tossed it around.

I opened my eyes and looked around the shore.  Nobody was here.  Just Tobias, me, and some seagulls eating garbage on the beach. 

"It's beautiful," Tobias said, squinting across the water at the sunset in the distance.  Reds and oranges and yellows littered the sky.  They swarmed together and created a painting in a picture.  I held my breath.  Tobias was right. 

"Yeah," I whispered, "It's great." I thought for a second.

"Tobias?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He tore his gaze away from the sunset and settled it on me.

"Do you ever think about what will happen?  Who will win the war?" I lowered my voice to a whisper, "Do you ever think about the war being over?" Tobias's expression never changed.  I think that he forgets how to make facial expressions without trying.

"Sometimes.  I don't try to think about it.  I need to worry about other things," He laughed, "Like eating rodents for breakfast.  I try to settle for one day at a time.  Why?" I bit my lip.  I lifted my legs to my chest and hugged my knees.

"Sometimes," I began, "I feel like I need war.  Like I have to have the surging adrenaline and feel my opponent's flesh in my teeth and claws.  Many times, I wake up, and I don't know who I am or what I am.  I have claws, but I have hands.  I have wings but I have arms.  I don't know what happens to me.  I feel like I love the war, but I don't.  I don't know.  If I could go back to being a regular teenage girl, I don't know if I would."

Tobias looked at me thoughtfully.  He nodded and looked at the sand.  I continued.

"But, surprisingly, I'm not alone.  I have you, Tobias," I lifted his chin with my finger and closed my lips over his.  I felt happy and comfortable with Tobias.  I still was surprised at myself.  I'm never this open or nice around anyone.  Except Cassie.  But, she's my best friend, and Tobias...  

We broke apart and I hugged him tightly.  Tobias was speechless.  I guess if I were in his place I would've been too.  We just sat there, enjoying the sunset.  After a while, the sun sank behind the ocean.

"Let's go," I said.  I got up and began the morph best for a nighttime trip.  Owl.

Chapter 7 - Marco

Hi.  The name's Marco.  I'm the smart, cute, modest, and handsome one of our little group.  I'm the guy that every girl wants to go out with.  I'm the guy with the endless array of great jokes.  Want to know where I live?  What my last name is? 

Sorry, I forgot my last name.  No, I'm kidding.  I just can't tell you.

I have something against you.

Kidding.  Again.  Anyways...

Today's meeting was strange.  Well, I guess they all are.  But this one was - how should I say it - tense.  For starters, I was up all night tossing and turning with nightmares.  Jake, Cassie and Ax were searching the woods for Tobias all night.  So, everyone was tired, irritated, and tense.  Yes, that word again.

We were all standing around in Cassie's barn in a tizzy because we couldn't find Tobias.  So, guess what!  He flies right in through the door and perches on his rafters just when we were about to ask Rachel if she knew where he was.  I was annoyed.  With him and everyone else.

"Oh," I said, "It's just you, Bird-Boy.  I thought you were another alien from outer-space." I sighed and rolled my eyes.  I don't think he noticed.  I opened my mouth to say something witty.  Tobias cut me off.

Hey Marco, I gave him the fish-eye.  He sounded like he had no idea that he was the cause of our irritation.  To tell you the truth, his mood sort of ticked me off.  I mean, who wouldn't resent him when you've been having nightmares half the night and the other half was spent looking for him?  Jake gave Tobias a stern look.

"It's good you're here, Tobias.  Ax went looking for you early this morning at your tree.  He didn't find you.  He got Cassie and me up searching for you.  We couldn't find you all morning.  You've never been away from your tree before at night - except when we were helping the Hork-Bajir.  Where were you?" 

It's good my bud Jake gave Tobias a talking to, because I felt like dealing with Bird-Boy "Rachel Style".  That is, well, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.

I heard a soft tap, tap, tap.  I jerked my head up and saw Rachel tapping the end of her shoe on the concrete floor of Cassie's barn.  Now Jake gave her the fish-eye.  He crossed his arms over his chest.  He stared at her, expecting an answer.  Now I had no doubt where Tobias had been.

"Tobias was with me," She said, resuming her tapping, "He came to visit me and it started raining.  So, uh, he stayed with me." She made a weak attempt at a laugh.  I raised my eyebrows.  There was more to it than that.  Any fool knew that Tobias and Rachel weren't just friends and fellow Animorphs.  I was the expert, I guess.  They are sometimes the butt of my jokes.  

I couldn't stop myself from making a comment.  Unnecessary, yes, but I wanted to know.  Besides, I was still annoyed with Tobias.

      "He stayed with you?  As in, all night?  He could've been caught!  Or worse, you could've been caught together!  Besides, it rained at ten o'clock last night.  What were you doing at ten o'clock at night?" I shook my head.  I should know what time it rained.  I woke up from the rain screaming about Dracon Beams and Yeerks.  It's a good thing my dad is a sound sleeper.  Rachel glared at me and gritted her teeth.

"I don't believe it's any of your business!" I gave her a little more room.  She was giving me a look.  It said, "If you don't shut up you're dead. Oh, and by the way, meet me after the meeting so I can rip your head from your shoulders."  I hate that look.  She gives me it all the time.

I looked around the barn.  Tobias remained impartial.  I wasn't fooled.  Inside his hawk body was a human being too.  I could just imagine him blushing.

Jake was frowning at Rachel and Tobias.  I could tell what he was thinking.  What were they doing?  Just then, I came up with about ten dirty jokes about Tobias visiting Rachel in her bedroom.  I didn't say any of them.  I have to learn to keep some things to myself.

Cassie was as red as a tomato.  Or maybe a strawberry.  All I know is that she was embarrassed.  Embarrassed for Rachel maybe?  Or Tobias?  I don't know.  If I wasn't so set on understanding what happened, I probably I would have looked like her.  Except in male version.

Rachel was, well, just guess.

Ax stayed silent.  He probably thought this was a human issue and that he wasn't needed.  I also understood.  If you're an alien, and you haven't been on earth, you could miss some things.  About liking someone.  Subtle hints.

"Don't do that to us, Tobias.  We were very worried."  Jake started talking again.

Okay, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize that you would notice I would be gone.  I didn't expect to be that long... Tobias stopped.  He looked around at us.  Aha!  I felt like screaming.  Instead, I stared at Rachel.  Hard.

"Ah," I said.  Rachel looked like she was going to blow a fuse.  I could see her hands balling into fists.  I could see her mouth twitching in anger.

 "We didn't DO ANYTHING!" She exploded furiously, looking from Jake and then to me, "Jeez!  You guys are acting like it's some big deal that Tobias came to see me!  Well, for your information, it's not!  So stop looking at us like we're...we're not normal, okay?!  I do NOT need this right now," Rachel let her breath out.  Slowly.

Cassie walked up to her.  She hugged Rachel and whispered to her.  I exchanged a look with Jake.  He shrugged.  I smirked.  I saw Cassie glance up a Tobias and I snuck a look.  Tobias was staring straight ahead.  Cassie started whispering again.  Rachel gave her a small smile.  Okay, that was a start.  Now maybe she wouldn't kill me.

Cassie let Rachel go and went back to checking on the many animals that were in the barn.

Rachel sat down.  I saw her look up at Tobias.  For a while, she was sort of gone.  Her eyes became unfocused and she kept smiling at the ground.  I decided to do something.  It was freaking me out.

"Rachel?  Are you in there?" I gently poked her shoulder with my finger.  In a flash, Rachel jumped up, grabbed my wrist, and glared.  I almost had a heart attack.  Literally.

"Don't. Touch. Me." She snarled.  I decided to look at the situation positively.  I pretended to look hurt.  That doesn't come naturally.  I laughed.  I've decided that you can look at something two ways; it can be a horrible experience, or it can be a funny experience.  Just guess which one I chose to look at.  That's a hard one.

"Don't worry Xena, I won't," I put my arm around her shoulders.  Rachel laughed and shoved my arm away.  Score one for Marco!

"Aren't you going to kiss me, Rachel?  Women always pretend to hate men, and when we're least expecting it, they kiss us." I thought it was a good statement.  I mean, it happens in the movies.  Rachel rolled her eyes.

"You've been watching too much T.V., Marco.  Besides, I wouldn't kiss you," Okay, I pushed my luck.  Hey, it was worth a try, right?  Girls are unpredictable.

Rachel's face suddenly forced a smile.  Fake.  I'm not a complete idiot.  I know a fake smile when I see one.  Then, she began to get that dreamy look again.  She smiled.  At me.  Now I knew something was wrong.

All of a sudden, she stopped smiling and saw me staring at her.  She gave me another glare.  I listened to Jake speaking again.        

 "Okay, well, I have some good news guys!" I heard our leader say, "Erek has been watching some controllers, and it seems that they aren't planning any attacks, anywhere, for about a week.  He says that they are expecting a ship carrying some Yeerks and a spare Kandrona to come next month, and they have to prepare for a landing.  I guess this means we don't plan any attacks for the next few days.  Have a little normalcy in our schedule?" He gave me a grin.  

"It's like vacation for the Animorphs," I said enthusiastically.  I formed my hands into a triangle and looked through, "Animorphs go Spring Break.  No, Spring Break of the Animorphs.  Wait.  That sounds like a horror flick.  Speaking of which, anybody seen any good movies lately?  Anybody going to any movies?" I winked at Rachel.  She rolled her eyes.  Okay, subtract one point for Marco.

I was about to go home when I saw Rachel shuck off her outer-layer of clothes.  She was going flying.  I realized that I needed to find out why Rachel was acting all weird at the meeting. I needed to follow her.

I didn't tell anyone.  This was a one-man job.

I saw Jake kneel next to Cassie.  He was helping her.  Ax left with all his good-byes.  I think he was going to the mall.  Actually, that was a good idea.  Nobody noticed when I left.  I snuck around the barn and morphed an osprey - a type of small hawk.  Think of Tobias.  Shrink him and bleach him gray and white.  That was me.

I waited for a while.  Sure enough, Rachel flew out of the door in her bald eagle morph.  She didn't even notice me.

I flew up and around her side.  About a few hundred feet away.  This way, I could follow her, from the side, without her knowing I was there.  Besides, with my osprey eyes, I might as well have been right next to her.

After a few minutes, Tobias caught up with Rachel.  They started talking.  Of course I didn't hear anything.  It was private thought-speech.

Maybe I didn't want to hear anything.  Maybe I did.

All of a sudden, Tobias zoomed off in one direction.  Rachel followed.  I had to power my osprey wings as hard as I possibly could without breaking them.  It was hard work.  My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst.

When we were about five minutes away, I realized where we, excuse me, they were going.  The beach.

Finally, chest puffing and heart pounding, I landed near Rachel and Tobias.  Out of sight of course, while they sat next to each other on a tree.  If Rachel knew that I was spying on her, I would have two broken arms before I could say, "Save me!" Not to mention a broken nose and cracked ribs.  Seriously.  Rachel is not your average tall, blonde, beautiful girl cruising around the mall.

After a few minutes, she and Tobias flew behind some bushes.  I slid behind a dumpster not to far away.  I realized this would be a good time to blend with my environment.  And that is garbage, water, and road kill.  What better morph than a seagull?  I began to change back to human.

When I finished, I immediately began the morph to seagull.  If you want to spy, or do anything without looking suspicious, gull is the perfect morph.  I mean, they are the kings of trash!  Lords of the dumpsters!  They can do anything, anywhere, and nobody looks at them twice.

I took off from my hideout just as Tobias and Rachel came out the bushes.  Both human.  They started walking towards the beach.  I flew overhead.

When we walked and flew over the sand, Rachel sat down.  Tobias sat down next to her.  Rachel lifted her face to the breeze and closed her eyes.  Tobias looked out over the ocean.  I could see a sunset in the distance, but I wasn't amazed because of that.

I have never seen Rachel looking so peaceful.  You know, not trying to be Gung-ho.  I mean, right then, I could actually see some human inside that wasn't totally insane.  Not that I would ever tell her that.  She's still Xena, Warrior Princess.  You don't want to mess with her.

Rachel opened her eyes and looked around.  She looked right at me flying overhead.  Her eyes watched me.  I decided to act like a regular seagull.  I landed about ten feet from Rachel and waddled off to dumpster towards my fellow gulls.  Rachel looked satisfied.

"It's beautiful," Tobias said, squinting at the sunset.  Rachel smiled.

"Yeah, it's great," She said.  She looked thoughtful.

"Tobias?"

"Yeah?"

 "Do you ever think about what will happen?  Who will win the war?" Rachel lowered her voice, but I could still hear her, "Do you ever think about the war being over?" Tobias had no expression, but I didn't let that fool me.

"Sometimes.  I don't try to think about it.  I need to worry about other things," He laughed, "Like eating rodents for breakfast.  I try to settle for one day at a time.  Why?" Rachel suddenly hugged her knees to her chest as if she was cold.  She looked angry at herself for bringing it up with Tobias.  After a while her expression softened.

"Sometimes," Rachel began, "I feel like I need war.  Like I have to have the surging adrenaline and feel my opponent's flesh in my teeth and claws.  Many times, I wake up, and I don't know who I am or what I am.  I have claws, but I have hands.  I have wings but I have arms.  I don't know what happens to me.  I feel like I love the war, but I don't.  I don't know.  If I could go back to being a regular teenage girl, I don't know if I would."

As soon as Rachel ended her little speech, I realized I did not want to be here.  If I wanted to talk to someone, I wouldn't want Rachel eavesdropping on me.  Especially not Rachel.  Not only that, but also she and Tobias looked pretty close.  Literally.  I decided to leave.

Just as I was flying away, I caught a glimpse of Rachel hugging Tobias.  As she got up, she began to morph to owl and Tobias began to demorph to hawk.


	2. Chapters 8 thru 11

Chapter 8 - Rachel

I flew to Cassie's.  She had, after all, wanted to talk to me.  I didn't really want to talk about that touchy subject right then, but she's my best friend, and I have to trust her to keep my secrets.

My bald eagle morph may control the day, but owl rules the night.  Even the faintest glimmer of moonlight enables the owl to see everything.  I mean everything! Every twitch of grass was processed in my mind as prey.  I could hear the mice in their burrows eating seeds while I flew. I was king of darkness!

Whenever Tobias comes to see me, it's usually easy for me to let him in.  My windowsill protrudes just enough to allow him to sit and perch there.

Cassie's is a whole different story. She had nothing to hold onto.

I forgot about that. I swooped, heading towards Cassie's window.  Then, I realized.

      AHHHHH! I screamed. Oops.  Cassie, if you can hear me, OPEN THE WINDOW! I shot towards it. I didn't have time to turn.

I hit the glass. I grabbed at the thin, tiny slice of wood bordering the window.  Talons grabbed! Missed!

A hand reached out, and with clear veterinarian experience, grabbed me and pulled my owl body through the window.

Cassie set my down on the floor. Breathing heavily, I demorphed.  Slowly my owl body melted into my human one. I let out a deep breath.

"I owe you one Cassie," I said thankfully. She waved her hands dismissively.

"No prob. It's hard to fall asleep when idiot birds crash into my window at 10:30 at night," She grinned. I grinned back. Cassie walked over to her closet.

"Do you need some clothes? It must be freezing in that leotard. My mom and dad turn off the heating at night. You know, so we don't waste electricity that we could use to help heat or monitor the animals," She said apologetically. I gave her a sidelong look.

"Cassie, you're my best friend and all, but no. Do you even go shopping without me? Ever? What do I have to do to make you understand?" I said, raising my hands in defeat.

"Knock me unconscious, strap me to your mom's car, and lock me in the Gap. Then, when I try to get out, threaten me by morphing to grizzly. That's how." She grinned. Then her face turned serious.

"Rachel, about today...about you know..." I put on a blank face. Or I at least tried to.

"I think I'm okay now. I mean, I was just mad at Marco. That's all." Cassie gave me a look that said right away she disapproved. She sighed.

"Rachel, love doesn't 'go away'. It doesn't leave. It's always there. I know you care for Tobias. I know he cares for you. Don't avoid it... especially not in your head. I don't care how you act around Jake and the others, or even Tobias. Just don't pretend it's not there, okay?" Cassie looked at me. I blushed at her speech. I tried to think of a comeback. But this isn't Marco. This is Cassie, my best friend. I choked on my words. I felt like an idiot.

"Cassie," I said at last, "What should I do? I mean, somehow or another...you know...I mean, seriously, I like a guy that flies the thermals and eats rodents for breakfast. What can I do? I can't help myself!" I blurted out suddenly. I surprised even myself. Cassie lowered her head. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. When she came up, I expected a look of pure sorrow. Instead, she was smiling happily.

"You care so much for him, don't you?" She sighed and grinned. I nodded my head slowly. Reluctantly. Even my emotions being said, I couldn't bring myself to be something less than a warrior. I was, after all, Xena.

"I knew," Cassie said suddenly.

"What?"

"I knew. You know, before the Student Awards when you were talking. I knew it was Tobias when you left the awards to see us. Nobody else could have made you that happy. Marco was right. You were never as happy until right then." She gave me a quick smile. I blushed again.

"That's not it though," Cassie said, raising an eyebrow at me, "You were, all weird at the meeting. Totally out of it. I know that Marco made some, um, unnecessary comments, but you still were gone. It was really creepy, you know?" She stared at me questioningly.

"Yeah. About that. Um, well," I blushed bright red. My face was on fire, "I, ah, kissed Tobias. Twice," Cassie stared. She didn't say a word. I started getting angry. I shook with rage.

"What's wrong with that? Huh?" I said defensively, "It just happened, okay?" Cassie looked at my angry, embarrassed face.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Really Cassie? Don't you think it's strange that I care about a bird? That I kissed him? I don't know if you do Cassie - you're my best friend. But the others..." I took a breath. Cassie just shook her head.

"I don't think it's strange. And the others? Do you mean Marco? Well, don't let him get to you. He teases Jake and me almost every day," She grinned and leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but I think he's jealous." She grinned again. I began to feel a bit better. I got up, yawned, and stretched my back. Cassie hugged me.

"If it makes you feel any better, just know you can talk to me, okay?" I smiled at Cassie.

"Thanks." I said gratefully. She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance.

"Anytime Rachel. Anytime." I began to morph to owl again. As I melted into the great horned owl body, I turned my luminous eyes on Cassie.

Oh, and Cassie? I said, You're coming with me to the mall after school tomorrow. No arguments. Cassie gasped in shock. Then laughed.

"Sure, why not?"

I flew slowly back to my house. I had no reason to go back home, since I told my mom and sisters that I was working on lots of homework and couldn't be bothered in the least. I sighed in my head. Lies came so easily now. I mean, what was I going to say? 'Hey Mom, I'm going to fly over to Cassie's to discuss some problems I'm having with a boy. What boy? Didn't I tell you? He's a red-tailed hawk. Surprise!' Yeah. That would go well.

I flew through my open window and landed on my unmade bed. I demorphed. Closed the window.

For a while, I just sat on my bed, my chin resting on the palm of my hand. _Why_ I asked myself, _why can't I live a normal life? Hang out with normal people? Why do I have to lie about everything?_ I shook these thoughts from my head. _No_ _use thinking that_, I thought bitterly, _my life is ruined anyway..._

I picked up my pillow and threw it against the wall. It hit the wall with a soft plop and fell to the floor in a heap. My eyes followed it to the ground. I sighed again. That's my life. It was fun when it started. Then we found the Andalite and our lives crumpled. I shivered and threw off my clothes. I didn't bother to brush my teeth. Who cares? I might die tomorrow anyways...

I rummaged impatiently through my dresser drawer.

I finally found the shirt I was looking for. The Mariners. Even though I never lived in Seattle, I had always loved that baseball team. I shut my eyes...

_"Come on, Daddy!" I said as I pulled my father's hand into my own. What was he waiting for? The game was about to start!_

_"Just a second sweetheart - yes, we'd like two tickets for the M's game. Thank you." He took the two tickets from the lady at the desk and grinned at me. As we walked hand-in-hand into the baseball stadium, Dad gave me a playful shove._

_"Ready to trash-talk some umpires?" He smiled, showing about a hundred white teeth. I shuddered with excitement. He grinned._

_"This is going to be great!" I said, skipping with joy._

_Tap...tap...tap..._

"Stop! The game's about to start!" I blinked. Stared at my surroundings. Where was I? Where was Daddy?

_Tap...tap...tap..._

I jerked my head. There was a bird at my window. My window. In my room. It has a pretty red tail. I should let him in. He looks cold... 

I opened the window.

Hi Rachel, A voice in my head! Where was it?

"Who's there?" I squeaked, terrified, "Where are you?" I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth on my bottom. I whimpered.

Rachel? Are you okay? It's me, Tobias. Your friend, I sighed. A friend. Then I giggled. A boy was talking, I was sure of it. I giggled again, blushing bright red. A boy!

"Where are you?" I asked again. Then I noticed the bird edging towards the window. I leapt up.

"Pretty bird. Pretty bird. Don't go. It's too cold outside." I shut the window.

"There. Now let's find you a nice place to sleep, pretty bird."

Rachel! What are you doing?! What's wrong? I gasped. The boy again. I pouted. Why doesn't he come out and play? Why not? Why...

I gasped. Couldn't breath.

Memories. All coming back to me now. Animorphs. Yeerks, Andalites, Chee, Pemalites, Hork-Bajir, Taxxons... Visser Three, Tom... 

Cassie, my best friend forever. Jake the unofficial leader. My cousin. Ax the Aristh Andalite. Marco. Funny Marco. Tobias the red-tailed -

"Hawk!" I screamed. I stared at the red-tail, my eyes wild and frightened. He began to morph.

"Oh-my-god. Tobias...Tobias..." I gasped for breath. Breathing heavily, I collapsed onto the bed. Eyelids closed. Can't hold them open. 

Dizzy, weak... 

Blackness...

I woke up. Not necessarily a good thing.

"What happen - Arggghuhhh..." I threw up. All over my clean bed sheets I had placed on the floor. Mom is going to have a fit! I thought. I tried to sit up. That was a mistake.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I screamed. A stabbing pain in my chest! It was on fire! I yelled and someone clamped a hand gently over my mouth.

"Shh... Rachel, it's okay..." I recognized the voice. I focused my eyes on the person leaning over me. Tobias! Thank god...

"Tobias!" I cried weakly, "What happened?" Tobias pushed some dirty-blond hair out of his eyes. He was white. And shaking. With fear? 

I puked again, my insides heaving in pain. Tobias squeezed my hand tightly.

"Rachel, you passed out." He said, trembling, "You were acting all weird and then you fainted. You stopped breathing."

"Am I..." I gasped, tasting the bile in my throat and mouth.

"No. I, ah, had to use CPR. But, you lived. And you're alive." He clasped my hand again, "Good thing I took that class, huh?" He shivered. All of a sudden, he blushed bright red. He stared fixedly at my face. I looked at him, confused. He just saved my life. Why should he be embarrassed?

It's only CPR...

I took the course too. Last year. One of the only classes I never really enjoyed. Health. I didn't know Tobias was in my class...

I remember it perfectly. Step one, call 911. I sure hoped Tobias didn't call 911. He would have to explain what he was doing in my room in the first place. I didn't want to think of what my family would say to that, let alone the police. I went through all of the steps - tilt head to open airway, check breathing, give two breaths... oh. The compressions. That's what gave me my broken ribs. Then...

I too blushed scarlet. There it was, clear in my mind: 'remove all necessary articles of clothing on victim prior to attempting compressions'. Tobias had read the handbook all right. Blushing furiously, I allowed him to help me get my shirt back on. He looked at my face the whole time. Finally he spoke. Softly.

"You can morph; it'll heal your ribs. You'll probably still be nauseous though... you might throw up again." I nodded, causing my head to spin in confusion. Tobias stepped back a ways.

I began to change to bald eagle. One of my many favorite morphs.

Usually morphing doesn't hurt. This time it did.

The pain! Twisting, agonizing, searing pain throughout my body! Piercing my skin. A thousand knives! Twisting me, choking me, killing me... My broken ribs, which would have taken months to heal, fit together like a puzzle. After the last bone was in place, the pain subsided. I continued the morphing. When I stopped, I was an eagle. The nausea came with me. But, not really. It was weird. I didn't really understand it. It didn't bother me, not at a conscious level.

It was like, what sickness? 

I wished I could've stayed in that body for a while. To settle down and calm my nerves. But that would've been admitting cowardice. And I'm not a coward.

I began to morph back.

This time, the morphing process didn't bother me. I felt no pain, just the strange, slightly disturbing feeling of wings melting into arms, beaks shifting to become lips, talons softening to become toes...

Tobias looked away. Blushing, I made my way to my closet and made myself decent. I felt like I hadn't walked in days. My legs felt like liquid, and my insides were threatening to heave once more.

"Done." I said simply. I breathed deeply. A layer of cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I shivered. Tobias looked at me, confused. I sat down on the bed and he immediately rushed over to help. I felt his arm around my shoulders as he guided my back to the bed. He slipped his arm from beneath my shoulders and set me down as gently as he could.

"Are you okay, Rachel?" He whispered over and over again. I couldn't talk. I closed my eyes. I'm not used to be so weak...

I licked my chapped and cracked lips. I drew a raspy breath.

"Fine." I managed to crack a grin, "Glad you're not Marco." I sighed.

"Tobias..." I coughed, "Get the others. Get Ax." He looked at me and squeezed my hand.

"But..." I glared at him.

"Do it. Do it..." I laid my head against my pillow. So tired. I felt like I had just done ten morphs without stopping and then sprinted five miles. Not to mention the fact that I felt sick to my stomach. Literally. I sighed again. So tired... 

I heard Tobias get up and leave. The air outside smelled sweet and warm. Suddenly it dawned on me. 

I was alone.

Chapter 9 - Tobias

I couldn't believe it. What had happened?

I used every trick I could muster with my fading strength. I gained altitude, dove, flew with the wind...

Why Rachel? Oh, God. Why her?

I flew about the rooftops, each small, but incredibly strong. My eyes, though not very good at night, could still see better than a human...

Was it me? Did I push love away? Was I a sort of jinx?

Too many questions. Not enough answers. I couldn't think.

Finally I reached the meadow. My meadow. I swooped down. I must have looked like a bird going on a kamikaze mission.

"TSEEERRR!" I screamed. Pure red-tail instincts now.

Ax! Ax! Wake up! Please... I landed above Ax's scoop. Sometimes I come to his "home" when I feel bored. It's pretty awesome. He has a T.V. Sometimes I think he's addicted to television. Although he still wonders why it's only two-dimensional.

My talons gripped the wood and I flapped my wings, restless.

Tobias? I heard a distant shuffling, and Ax appeared, his stalk eyes searching the forest. His tail was posed behind him, cocked for attack.

Ax, in the tree. He looked at me and lowered his tail, Listen. Rachel's sick. I need your help. She's cold, and clammy, and... I trailed off. Ax began his morph to northern harrier.

Tobias. I'll go find Prince Jake. Keep Rachel warm.

With that, he flew off. I shook with fear and raced back to Rachel's house. I had heard worry in Ax's thought-speak.

I need to help Rachel now. She needed me.

I had to help my friend. The girl who took a lonely hawk under her wing.

Chapter 10 - Marco

Marco!

THUUMMPP! THUUMMPP! 

"Ahhhhhh! Who's there?" I sat up in a cold sweat, screaming. Okkaay... being an Animorph was really getting to me. I forced myself to move my shaking hands and wipe the sweat off my brow. I shivered. I looked around my room.

Marco, please open your window. I am slowly dying from lack of significant oxygen. I jumped up and shoved open the window and grabbed the northern harrier hanging onto my windowsill with one talon. Ax. I set him on my floor.

"Oh. No trouble then." I rolled my eyes. "You know, Ax, you've really got to tell us these things." I looked around. Where are the others?

Ax began to demorph. You think it's weird going from human to bird and back again?

Well, let me say this a nice way. You're wrong.

Bird to Andalite - and back again - is extremely gross and disturbing. And did I mention gross? And disturbing? I mean, who can say otherwise when you're staring at this perfectly normal bird when -pop- all of a sudden, extra eyes sprout from the top of its head? Get the picture?

I waited patiently while Ax-man finished his change. His totally disgusting, wrong... wait. I went into that already.       

I had an Andalite in my room. Oh goody.

"Can I have your autograph?" I asked.

What is an autograph? Is it another primitive device that you humans use? I laughed. Ax looked at me again.

Is it tasty? Is it good to eat? I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Never mind." I sat down and crossed my arms, "So. Ax. Is there any particular reason that you are visiting me, or are you just bored?"

Ax paced the room, his sharp black hoofs scratching the carpeting.

Marco, Rachel is ill. We need to get Cassie and Prince Jake. Tobias seemed very worried. We must move quickly. The time is precious.

I was about to make a crack about precious time, but I knew better. Tobias was worried. And when that guy is worried, you'd better listen to him. He may be a red-tailed hawk, but he is extremely smart.

But, hey, grasp any joke when it comes to you. Use it. Quickly. It might get old. Nothing, nothing, is as bad as an old joke.

"Well," I started, "Of course Tobias is worried, Rachel's his girllffhgghhh-," I said as my mouth became the razor sharp beak of a great horned owl. Ax was right behind me.

I finished morphing.

Ready to fly? I spread my wings.

Chapter 11 - Tobias

I left the window open.

I knew I would have to come back. Rachel's strong, body and mind, but she can't do anything to cure sickness. Except wait.

_Stop_, I wanted to tell her, _let your body do the fighting._

_You can't do anything to make yourself better right now. You can't cure it now._

Especially when I haven't seen it before.

I flew into the room and immediately began my human morph. I thought back to Ax. How many Animorphs has he told by now? I hoped he was moving quickly. Rachel's life may be on the line...

I blinked back tears. Why me? Why?

I don't admire people who pity themselves and drown in sorrow, but this was way too much! Ellimist, why can't you bend your rules? Why can't you find a loophole? If Rachel dies...

_No! I couldn't think about that!_

I walked over to Rachel's desk and pulled out her chair. It was blue, like the sky. My sky.

I pulled the chair up close to Rachel's bed and studied her. She was still alive, for sure. Her breathing was short and shallow. At first I couldn't see or hear her breaths, but then I saw her chest rise and fall, rise, and fall...

_That's it Rachel. Breathe. Live_.

"Hey Rachel." I whispered softly. My voice seemed different. Unnatural. I saw the faintest of smiles. Rachel's eyes fluttered.

"Tobias? Is that you?"

"Yeah. I'm here."

"Don't leave me." She reached up to touch me. I grabbed her clammy hand.

"I won't."


	3. Chapters 12 thru 15

Chapter 12 – Rachel

_Darkness... light... blackness... Tobias..._

Where are you? I can't see.

_Help me..._

What is life? What is its worth?

Can you count it? Can you taste it?

_Fading..._

_Someone answer me! Please... anyone..._

"Hey Rachel," Tobias! Who is Tobias? Who am I? Rachel? Is that my name?

"Tobias? Is that you?"

"Yeah. I'm here.

"Don't leave me." Five senses. Sound, taste, sight... others? Touch...

I reached up. Needed to touch him. To know he was there.

"I won't."

I breathed deeply. Take in oxygen, expel carbon dioxide. Life. That's life.

That's what I'm fighting for.

I woke up.

Oh. School. I yawned and closed my window. I didn't remember leaving it open. Yawning dramatically, I walked into my bathroom and brushed my teeth.

Did Tobias come to see me last night? I hope not. I was at Cassie's. Besides, I I went to sleep early. I didn't remember anything after seeing Cassie. I almost laughed. I was too tired to think.

I pulled my toothbrush away from my mouth. The tip of the brush was red with blood.

My blood.

I spit the metallic taste out of my mouth and washed my gums with water. They still stung.

I got ready for another normal, boring, average day at junior high.

Oh, the glory of being an Animorph.

Chapter 13 – Tobias

I was worried. We all were.

Me especially. Yeah, don't remind me. Marco already did. Ha. Ha.

It was finally late that night that Jake decided we could do nothing to help Rachel get better right then. So, with a little persuading, Jake forced us to leave. I didn't want to leave Rachel. She was sick. Really sick.

Ax had studied her, like he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. He kept checking her pulse with his weak hands and placing the flat of his tail-blade on her. Probably to feel her temperature. I don't know.

Who can tell with aliens?

I was definitely worried. 

I guess I didn't figure out how much I needed Rachel until then.

I perched, shivering in my tree, waiting for the sun to rise. The sky was a dark blue, and my eyesight was poor. Almost as bad as a human's, but I could see. I could also hear the mice and other tasty animals scurrying inside their warm burrows. I sighed in my head, unheard by the many creatures around me.

_Do they know? _I thought, _do they know that I'm not their average, every day hawk?_

I mean, you have to wonder about those things, right?

Finally, after many chilling hours of waiting, the sun rose. The stars blinked and seemed to fall from the sky in a heap. Soon they were gone.

I stretched my wings and dropped off my branch. At the last minute, my wings caught a breath of air and I floated up above the treetops. My home.

I flew to Rachel's window. I looked inside.

Rachel wasn't there. I checked again. On the bed, the desk...

Gone.

I suddenly felt cold all over. An icy, steel hand gripped my heart. It tore me apart and sent shivers down my spine. I almost fainted right off Rachel's windowsill. My head bubbled in sadness and rage.

_Rachel... you can't be dead... not you..._

Why do you do this to me, Ellimist? I know you're there! Do something! Don't just sit there playing God... I choked, Why did you have to take her from me? She's the only one who cares! Or was. All because of you! Do you hear me, Ellimist? Your fault! I screamed to the sky. Of course he won't answer. He doesn't care about a gung-ho girl and a bird-boy. Why would he?

I heard something.

_Probably just Rachel's Mom preparing the funeral. _My head spun. Have you ever had something you don't want to think about? Like a test or speech or something? Then, when you _really _don't want to think about it, your brain taunts you. You scream and scream, but you can't stop your brain from thinking.

_Just Rachel's Mom._

_She's gone, Tobias. She's gone._

No! I screamed. I hadn't realized I'd spoken. I heard a crash. Suddenly, a person stepped into view.

A very beautiful person. Someone who can get run over by a garbage truck, get caught in a landslide, and get tossed around by a tornado, but still stay perfectly clean and immaculate.

Rachel. 

Ever known someone with their own personal spotlight shining on them at all times? That's Rachel. Brave, smart, funny, and beautiful.

She came over to the window and opened it. I landed on the bed in a daze. Rachel looked at me and stroked my feathers.

"Hey Tobias. What's up? I heard you scream." She checked me, looking for injuries.

_What? _I thought, _how could she _not _know?_

"Tobias? Are you okay?" She looked at me, concerned and worried.

Rachel, I gasped, You're alive. Her eyes widened. Then her expression softened.

"Of course I'm alive! Why wouldn't I be?" Rachel laughed.

You – me, I stuttered. Did she remember anything at all? Did she even know that she had been deathly ill? Did she remember our kiss?

Rachel, I said, sounding more urgent then I was meaning to, What is the last thing you remember? She smiled, but it was a confused smile.

"Last night, I went to see Cassie." She shrugged, "Tobias, maybe you should stay here today. I can skip school to look after you --"

No. I don't need help. Really. Don't worry about me.

"But I _do _worry Tobias." Rachel said softly.

Right then, I wanted to hug her, to kiss her. I didn't do either. I just turned away.

I've got to go. Take care of yourself, Rachel. I nibbled her finger affectionately and flew through the window. I felt her eyes following me.

As I drifted lazily towards my meadow, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to see Ax. Badly. I had a feeling Ax knew something about Rachel's mysterious sickness.

At least I hoped so.

Chapter 14

Ax! I yelled, scanning the trees. I was bound to find him soon. It's not too hard to find a four-eyed, black-hoofed, scorpion-tailed alien in the forest.

If you're a bird of course. And if you know where to look. That helps.

I headed back to Ax's Scoop as quickly as I could.

There you are! I said, spotting him laying in the sun, his legs tangled underneath him, his eyes closed except for a stalk eye, which seemed to sway in the breeze. His eye blinked and closed. He almost looked like he was asleep. Maybe he was. 

Ax! I need to talk to you!

Ax immediately stood up and stretched his legs and arms. I could almost say he yawned, but I'm not positive. I felt his eyes on me as I landed on a sapling above him. 

I dug my talons into the soft, deep wood of the tree.

Tobias! It's a pleasure to see you! He said, How is Rachel?

That's just it. I don't know. I was hoping you could tell _me _what's wrong with her. I responded, cocking my head slightly. Ax crossed his arms, another habit he has picked up from being around humans.

I am not certain, however, I do have a theory, He said.

What is it? I asked patiently.

I will not go into too many details, but I believe Rachel is suffering from severe stress. This stress, I believe, can cause damage to the brain. If I am correct, Rachel will relive a memory, then it will be 'recycled' to make room for other memories. Sort of like in a computer. Except I do not know if we will be able to bring her memories back after her brain is through with them. Ax shook his head sadly. I stared at him, sinking the news in.

What!? I said almost hysterically, She won't remember anything?!

Ax avoided my stares. For a good reason. I took a breath and tried to steady my heart's beating frenzy.

You said it was only a theory, right? I said, my hopes rising slightly.

Well, Ax said, I am almost positive. The correct temperature, heart beats per minute, breath rate... it all indicates --

Stop! I said, startling myself and Ax, Is there nothing we can do? Are we just going to watch her die?

Ax shuffled his feet, Oh, she won't die. She just won't remember anything. Usually the less important memories are 'recycled' first. He added hopefully.

I took a breath, Ax? I whispered, What if she blacks out again? At school or the mall or something?

She won't. The first time the memory loss shocks the body into a state where the victim cannot breathe, but, the next time her 'crisis stage' occurs, it'll be more subtle. Rachel might look like she is asleep with her eyes open.

I couldn't take it anymore.

_Rachel... why you? Why couldn't it have been me? I don't have much to lose..._

I need to go. I took off from the tree above Ax. I let everything sink in farther. The thought of Rachel losing all her memory sent a chill down my spine.

If what Ax said was true, Rachel might wake up one morning not knowing her name, or where she was born, or who her friends are. But it was more horrible than that. A new problem has occurred underneath all of Rachel's life problems.

Rachel might forget she was an Animorph.

Chapter 15 – Rachel

Finally. Fourth period. Done.

_BRIINNNGGG! BRRIINNGGG!_

I rushed out of the room, books in hand. As I turned a corner, I was nearly trampled by a crowd shoving and pushing to get to their lockers. I finally reached mine and spun the combination lock.

I opened my locker, grabbed my backpack, and shoved my books into it carelessly. I glared as someone ran into me, almost knocking me off my feet.

I looked over to see if Cassie was at her locker. She was. I walked over.

"Hi Cassie!" I said, smiling. Cassie looked up quickly and stared at me. She gasped and her eyes widened. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked, jamming my hands into my jean pockets. I thought for a moment and realized that Tobias had acted almost the same way.

"Rachel, wow, you got better?" Cassie said grinning in a confused way. She sounded doubtful.

"Got better from what?"

"Don't you know?"

"No." Now I was really confused. I shrugged it off.

"Hey, remember your promise? You're going to the mall today, right?" I said laughing, "Actually, it's not a choice."

As I pulled Cassie away from her locker, I realized. They must have made some sort of joke, pretending I was sick, so I wouldn't make Cassie go to the mall. I almost laughed. Jake would probably help Cassie, Marco would do anything for a joke, and Cassie would do anything to stay away from the mall.

Ax wouldn't get it, and Tobias? Would he do that?

Yeah, probably.

The rest of the day was weird also. At lunch, Jake was staring at me constantly like he was afraid I would collapse right in front of him. When I yelled at him to stop acting like I was a porcelain doll, Marco sort of scooted his chair away from me. I got really mad then.

I mean, enough is enough already!

After what seemed like a millennia, school was out for the day, and I was ready to have some fun. I was going to get Cassie to the mall if it killed me.

As I walked outside, I saw a shadow on the blacktop. I squinted and looked up at the sky. I waved to Tobias, just a twinkling of two fingers, and began to walk home with Cassie.

Cassie and I met Jake, Ax, and Marco at the mall. Of course, we did some acting for any controllers that happened to be watching.

"Oh! Hi Jake! What a surprise to see you here!"

"Hey! Want to get some lunch?"

"Sure. We haven't eaten yet."

As we sat down at a table, Tobias joined us. I smiled at him and he sat down next to me. Marco started coughing loudly. I smiled at him.

"Marco, being the shortest, why don't you get our food for us?" I said sweetly. Marco put a hand over his chest.

"Right in the heart, Xena. Right in the heart." He said, grinning. I rolled my eyes and kicked him under the table. Hard.

"Oww! Fine. Fine, I'm going. Jake, you know your cousin just kicked me, right? Aren't you supposed to do the best friend thing and kick her butt?"

"Sorry Marco, she's family." Jake said, grinning. Marco sighed.

"I'm an outcast yet again." Shaking his head, Marco walked off to get some nachos. I turned and grinned at Tobias.

"_Carpe Diem_. That's what Marco tries to do." I said, running my hands through my hair. Tobias raised his eyebrows.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said...

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Tobias asked, staring at the teacher in confusion._

_"Tobias, if you had been listening you would know." Mrs. Johnston said impatiently, "Stop daydreaming." As she turned back to the whiteboard, the class snickered. I had to suppress a snort._

_"Tobias, stop daydreaming!" A kid mimicked. The class giggled again. Tobias blushed about five shades of red._

_I didn't feel too sorry for him. That's just how he is - Always dreaming and staring at the sky. He's a loner after all._

_I looked down at my math paper. Algebra. Yuck. I glanced at Tobias and he looked away. I felt some pity. Poor kid. _

_I raised my hand and Mrs. Johnston turned around and pointed at me._

_"Rachel?"_

_"Mrs. Johnston? I finished with my algebra," I lied, smiling, "I'll help Tobias with his." Some people around me raised their eyebrows and snickered. I glared at them._

_"Sure Rachel. Go ahead." She said, sounding doubtful. I picked up my pencil, walked over to Tobias's desk, picked up his paper and pencil, and walked out of the classroom into the pod. I sat down at a circular table and placed the materials down. Tobias sat down across from me._

_"Thanks," he said, looking at his hands. I gave him a look._

_"No problem, Mrs. Johnston didn't really explain it very well. Why don't you come take this seat?" I pointed to the chair next to mine. Tobias nodded, but he couldn't look me in the eye. He sat down._

_I looked at the first algebra problem. It was an easy one: 15 = x + 8._

_"Let's try this one." I said, picking up my pencil. Tobias picked up his._

_"I know how to do this." Tobias said, staring at the problem._

_"Yes," I said, grinning, "But I need to teach you a way that will help you with more complicated problems."_

_Tobias nodded and brushed a lock of hair from his face._

_"Okay," I said, "First, we need to get the x by itself. We do that by canceling out the eight. Would you agree that by adding eight, then subtracting eight, we would get zero?" Tobias nodded, and I continued, "Okay, so we now have x isolated. What do you do now? Remember, you want to have the sides balanced."_

_Tobias's eyes lit up. He actually smiled._

_"We would subtract eight from fifteen, right?" Tobias said, glancing at me quickly. I nodded so he could see._

_"Yeah. So what does x equal?"_

_"Seven," Tobias said triumphantly, scribbling it down on his paper. He smiled at me._

_"Thanks. I think I get it now. Should I do some more?" He asked._

"Yeah, you do that Tobias." I said. Jake, Cassie, Ax and Tobias stared at me. Marco walked to the table, carrying the nachos.

"Nachos anybody? I got extra cheese!" He said, setting it down on the table. Marco looked at everyone, "What's gotten into you guys? Cat got your tongue?"

I frowned. What was I doing? Why had I spoken without meaning to?

"Whatever. Fine. Ignore me." Marco picked up a cheese-covered chip and ate it, chewing slowly. Cassie and Jake blinked.

"Thanks for getting the nachos, Marco." Cassie said, giving me a concerned glance.

"Yeah." Jake said automatically. 

Then, Ax saw the nachos. Uh-oh.

"Is that grease? And salt? Grease. Greasuuh. Saltuh. Those are enjoyable flavors!" Ax almost shook with excitement. He reached his hand across the table and grabbed a clump of chips. He plopped them in his mouth and did shake.

"More!" He cried, licking his fingers and reaching for another batch of nacho chips. Marco laughed.

"At least you're eating real foods," he snorted, "I'll never forget the time you ate those cigarette butts." Ax had nothing to say to that. He just reached for more chips. I laughed at Ax's antics.

Nothing can control an Andalite in human morph. Especially one that's next to food.


	4. Chapters ending of 15 thru 17

Ending of Chapter 15 - Rachel  
  
I shivered. I felt nausea in my stomach.  
  
Suddenly, I didn't feel like eating nachos. Or anything for that matter.  
  
I got up, feeling a little sick. I looked at the others.  
  
"I'll be right back," I said, walking towards the restrooms. I was halfway there when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned around.  
  
"Rachel, what's going on?" Jake questioned, pulling his hand from my arm.  
  
"What?" I asked, moderately confused. Jake looked at me, unsmiling.  
  
"You know. You're freaking us out. First you're sick, then you're not. Tobias was worried all night, and he told me that you forgot you were sick when he visited you this morning." Jake shook his head.  
  
"What? I was sick?" I asked, oblivious of the four pairs of eyes on my back.  
  
"Yeah. Sick. Really sick." Jake ran his hand through his brown hair, "look Rachel, we're your friends. I'll be there for you, Cassie will, Marco will, Ax will. Tobias will probably never leave your side." He smiled slightly, "if you feel sick or anything, just tell us."  
  
For probably the first time in my life, I felt confusion from Jake. Total, uncertain, confusion.  
  
And I didn't like it. Not one bit.  
Chapter 16 - Cassie  
It was weird.  
  
Yeah, you probably think you've seen weird. Your guinea pig flips in the air, you brother invites his friends over, you get a C on a perfectly easy math quiz.  
  
Well, let me tell you something.  
  
It isn't enough that my friends and I have to fight evil parasitic aliens by morphing into animals, we have to deal with diseases that have probably never been in contact with the human race. That's what I consider weird.  
  
Anyways, I was listening to Jake explain to Ax the purpose of a mailbox when someone shook my arm. I looked up, and Tobias was staring at me evocatively. He pointed at Rachel.  
  
My eyes widened. She was sitting there staring at the table. She was breathing, but it was her eyes that caught my attention. They were unfocused and unblinking. I glanced at Tobias and shrugged. He looked really worried and kept glancing constantly at Rachel.  
  
All of a sudden, she went back to being normal. Still seemingly in a daze, she said softly, "You do that Tobias."  
  
Tobias looked freaked out now. I felt sorry for him. I could relate - I felt the same way. Seeing my best friend in a trance was not making my day go any better.  
  
Oh, really? I thought sarcastically.  
  
Just at that moment, Marco came back to the table, balancing the nachos like a waiter in a restaurant.  
  
"Nachos anybody? I got extra cheese!" He said, setting it down on the table. Marco held up his hands and looked around at everyone, "What's gotten into you guys? Cat got your tongue?"  
  
Marco pointedly raised his eyebrows. Then he rolled his eyes exasperatedly.  
  
"Whatever. Fine. Ignore me." He said, jamming his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Thanks for getting the nachos, Marco." I said, tearing my gaze from Rachel for a second to thank him. Jake followed suite.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Is that grease? And salt? Grease. Greasuuh. Saltuh. Those are enjoyable flavors!" Ax. In his human morph, Ax was surprisingly pretty for a boy, but not lacking definite weirdness. He reached across the table and grabbed a nacho, plopping it in his mouth. I almost laughed when he missed the first time.  
  
"More!" He cried, grease dribbling down his chin. I laughed and wiped it off with my napkin. Marco laughed too, and even Tobias cracked a grin.  
  
"At least you're eating real foods," Marco snorted, "I'll never forget the time you ate those cigarette butts." Ax ignored him, and even Rachel had to laugh when he grabbed another clump of cheese-covered nachos. Suddenly, Rachel stood up.  
  
"I'll be right back," she said, looking a little pale. She started walking away. I looked at Tobias. He stood up quickly, but I put my hand on his arm. I glanced at Jake and smiled. He mouthed, 'thank you,' before hurrying up after my best friend - his cousin. I felt Tobias tense up next to me.  
  
"It's okay Tobias. She'll be fine." I said, at the same time telling myself. I was acting all calm around my friends, but inside I was screaming. That's my job. Calm Cassie. It seems to work for everyone.  
  
Everyone except me.  
  
Tobias relaxed a bit and tried to smile.  
  
"Yeah," he said, "yeah. She's Rachel, after all. Rachel!" I patted his arm sadly.  
  
"Don't worry." I said. Hypocrite.  
  
"I can't." Tobias responded flatly, watching Rachel and Jake talking, "I love her."  
  
Then he jerked, as though he just realized what he said. He stuttered and glanced at Marco warily, "As a- as a fellow Animorph. She's part of our team - she's very important."  
  
"Yeah, I know." I said softly, smiling at Tobias. I couldn't help grinning. I knew Rachel and Tobias loved each other, but they could never admit it, even to themselves. Tobias looked at me again and nodded.  
  
"Yep. Really important." He said.  
  
"Yeah." I said.  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Tobias, it's okay. I understand." I said, reaching for a nacho. Tobias grinned sheepishly and grabbed one too.  
  
"Sorry," he muttered, munching on the chip slowly. I stole a glance at Marco and Ax. They were still eating the nachos. They didn't hear a word Tobias had said. Maybe it's better that way.  
  
I heard Jake sit down next to me and I looked at him expectantly. He breathed deeply.  
  
"I don't know." He said, looking at his clasped hands. Tobias looked as though someone had stabbed him. His eyes went wide and he got up, pushing his plate away from himself like it had just bitten him.  
  
"I've, I've got to go," he stammered, hands shaking, "I need to, uh, protect my territory. There's another red-tail, and he's pretty big." Tobias pushed in his chair.  
  
"Bye," I said, eyes brimming in tears. Poor Tobias.  
  
"See ya, man." Jake said, giving me a concerned glance. I took his hand. Jake gave it a squeeze, and I smiled.  
  
I noticed Tobias staring at us, an expression of regret and longing on his face. Finally he turned around, and without a word, walked towards the exit.  
  
I put my head in my hands. I felt Jake put an arm around me, and I relaxed onto him.  
Chapter 17 - Rachel  
I felt a little better when I got to the restroom. Maybe I just needed to walk around or something to settle my nerves.  
  
It happens.  
  
Still shivering slightly, I ran my hands under the bathroom sink. The hot water felt good against my shaking hands. When they were hot enough, I rubbed them up and down my arms, warming my shoulders and arms thoroughly. The goosebumps slowly left the surface of my skin.  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried to remember what I had said, or what I was thinking at the table just minutes before. Try as I might, I didn't remember anything.  
  
Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nothing. Nada. Nil. Nope. Naught. Uh-uh.  
  
I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand and walked out of the bathroom, frustrated. As soon as I got back to the table, I was surprised to find Tobias gone and Cassie crying. I immediately forgot my problems for the moment.  
  
"Jake, where's Tobias? And, why's Cassie crying?" I asked, concerned. Cassie looked up and wiped away a tear.  
  
"Tobias, he.he went h-home," she said, breathing in little sobs. Marco and Ax looked at Cassie, not knowing what to do. I looked at my best friend.  
  
"Cassie, I-I've got to go, okay?" Cassie nodded, and I was relieved to see a small smile.  
  
"I understand." She said. 


	5. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – Tobias

I left. It was the only thing to do.

I was literally choking to death, thinking about Rachel's strange predicament. It scared me. Horribly.

I mean, how could I, or anyone, help her when we barely knew what was wrong with her? I mean, one day she was good old Rachel, laughing at danger and yelling out her 'let's do it!' The next moment…

I demorphed when I was out of sight of the mall and its customers and spread my wings, flying up towards the sun. And my meadow.

As soon as I spotted my tree, I spread my wings and landed on the top branch. I instinctively looked through the tall grass to see if there was anything to eat. Even if I had seen something tasty (which I didn't), I didn't feel like hunting.

I felt lost and lonely.

I didn't mean to run out of the mall like that… it just came over me. Sadness, I mean. I wanted to do nothing but help her, but what was I going to do?

Ask the Ellimist?

I pondered that notion. Would it work? Could I do something for the Ellimist, so he could help me?

I would do anything for Rachel. Anything. But, what could I do that would help the Ellimist? It didn't seem possible, but, maybe…

I had said that I loved Rachel. Cassie had heard me. But was it just puppy love, or did I find my soul mate? It was hard to believe that two people as young as we could really 'fall in love'. Even some adults never even get that chance!

Tobias? I heard a voice in my head, breaking my train of thought. I snapped my face toward the bright sun. A large bald eagle flapped its wings and perched next to me.

Hey, I replied, looking back towards the slightly browning grass waving in the breeze, what's up?

The sky.

I chuckled at Rachel's joke and then grew serious, seriously. You were talking to Jake… I waited for her to finish the sentence, but Rachel was silent. I felt my stomach drop, anything bad?

Still Rachel didn't respond. I waited for a minute, and I was about to talk again, when Rachel turned her pure white head towards me.

Why did you run off, Tobias? She asked, sounding hurt. My heart pummeled and I cried tearlessly, my head spinning.

I… it… I choked.

_Say it, Tobias!_

_No!_

_Yes. You can't hide it forever._

_Please… I don't want to be hurt again…_

_You won't be._

I…R-Rachel, I love you, I paused and continued, breathing heavily, the emotions, they were choking me… I had to go. To think. I said, and cringed. Years of living in fear of my aunt and uncle caught up with me, and made me almost afraid of being loved, or even loving someone. I heard Rachel give a little gasp.

Tobias…I never knew…

I'm sorry --- I said quickly, feeling my heart break once again. Nobody would ever love me…

…If you felt the same way. Rachel interrupted, Tobias… I love you too.

Happiness like no other bubbled up inside me. My heart surged and I laughed joyfully. Rachel laughed along with me, breathing in little gasps as though she was crying in joy. Still laughing in ecstasy, we flapped to the ground.

Anybody who saw us would behold the strange sight of a bald eagle and a red-tailed hawk appearing to embrace, wings wrapped around each other. Slowly, we both melted to human shape, still hugging and crying.

It was the best feeling in the world.

She buried her face onto my shoulder and I wrapped my arms tighter around her. I wasn't sure if I was happy, or sad, or scared, or amazed. My thoughts were jumbled, and I couldn't think clearly. I knew one thing for sure, though.

This wasn't puppy love.

We stood like that for only a minute, but it felt like a millennia. Rachel filled my thoughts. Her hair, her face, just her being Rachel when I needed her most. My head was cloudy and I felt dazed. I loved being this close to her, holding her tight.

Rachel lifted her head and looked at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," she said, tears streaking down her face. I felt horrible to see her like this. I brushed the tears away, and looked down at her, a concerned expression on my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Rachel put her hands on the sides of my face and kissed me passionately, tears still cascading down her face. I was surprised once again, but this time, I kissed back, trying to ease the pain she was in.

When we broke apart, Rachel choked, gasping.

"Tobias, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry you're a _nothlit, _I'm sorry I'm not always there for you… I'm sorry for all the battles, for the disappearance of your parents," she continued, tears flowing steadily from her eyes, "I'm sorry that we can't be a normal couple."

She grabbed my hand and wrung it tightly.

"Tobias, I'm scared. Everybody thinks that I can't be, because I'm _Xena, Warrior Princess, _but it's not true. I'm scared that the Yeerks will get us; I'm scared for all the people who are already slaves. I'm scared of being afraid," she looked away, "now, I have this weird sickness, and nobody knows what to do. I mean, I wake up one morning, and I don't remember anything I did the night before! I'm scared that I'll forget everything, and everybody. I can't lose you, Tobias. I love you, and I don't know what I'd do without you…"

"We'll figure out how to get you well. Rachel, I promise." I said, thinking of my idea I had earlier. The Ellimist…?

"Yeah." Rachel said, taking a deep breath. She kissed my cheek, "thank you."

I must have had a goofy expression on my face, because Rachel grinned for the first time since she had shown up at my tree.

"Ohh… all your dreams come true, Tobias?" She said, laughing. I blushed and she laid her forehead against mine. She sighed.

"It's okay…" she said, smiling, "mine did."

"Really?" I blurted out, and Rachel laughed happily.

"Yes."

Huh? Good? Sorry I haven't updated in a while… I have four stories that I'm working on right now! *pants* Anyways… I hope u guys like my story, and I'll have the next stuff up asap!

Thanks a bunch!

Cheers **

Tic-Tac ~ :)


	6. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – No POV

The Ellimist laughed, his voice ringing through the galaxies, older than the stars themselves. As he laughed, it seemed as if the whole universe laughed along with him. His voice was that of laughter – manipulative, yet merry.

YOU LOSE, CRAYAK.

Crayak's blood-red eye practically burst with rage. From his throne, he had witnessed something that he himself had never experienced… something that cast him apart from the rest of the universe.

Love.

He had chosen carefully. The one human that couldn't love. He saw darkness and hate inside her. Crayak knew that this one, this one girl, could perhaps shorten his quest to total and complete destruction of all the worlds. It was his only love. His love was to kill. And kill he did.

Glaring at the Ellimist, Crayak grasped his throne in anguish. How could he lose? He had planned everything. After losing all her memories, the girl, (Rachel as she was called on earth), would be transformed into a beast. A beast that was programmed to kill – programmed. Without memories, she would be a killing machine. It was perfect.

Crayak turned to the Ellimist and felt his blood boil. He had to follow the rules. The plan had to be somehow imperfect, giving the humans a chance to succeed. Of course, Crayak didn't think… not in a millennia…

The Ellimist had chosen love. If Rachel could find true love, she would slowly be returned to normal. Crayak had laughed at this, boasting that Rachel could never find love. He would win.

But, Crayak had not looked long enough. Deep down underneath all of her bravery and valor, she was still prone to love. She had a soft spot. A soft spot for a miserable _nothlit_ boy by the name of Tobias…

This boy, he was the death of Crayak.

"I will not lose," Crayak snarled, glaring at the Ellimist.

YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST. TRUE LOVE. WHO KNEW YOU WOULD BE DEFEATED BY LOVE, CRAYAK?

"Do not mock me, Ellimist."

OH, BUT I WILL.

Crayak moved in his throne, standing up and fixing his red eye his sworn ememy. The Ellimist laughed again.

REMEMBER THE RULES, CRAYAK.

Crayak stared fiercely at the Ellimist, yearning to kill him. To rip him apart and throw his body to the Howlers… but, he couldn't. The rules bound him.

Glaring, Crayak spoke again, voice ringing with confidence and rage.

"Next time, Ellimist… next time I will get your humans…"

THE END

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